Showing posts with label "In this economy". Show all posts
Showing posts with label "In this economy". Show all posts

Because pianos are not portable.


I was listening to "Grace Notes" today on the radio. I don't know what it was about. I was driving. But when my brain tuned in after a long break, there was a story about a lady who got really nervous about being on the radio, so she went back to her hotel room and practiced for a few hours. I assumed she was a vocalist, playing in her room for a few hours. But no. She was a pianist! Which means---

There was a piano in her hotel room!

It was eighty or ninety years ago.

I've stayed in some nice hotel rooms, but they never ever had a piano. Hotels cost over $100 these days, if you want a non-sloping floor and an absence of urine stains on the walls, but they never ever have a piano in the room.

This is wrong.

In this economy, we need more do it yourself music!

If you pay one hundred dollars, you should at least have the use of a mediocre piano.

There are many things in this world that have gone wrong.

I propose a new series, which I shall entitle,

" "

Oh, heck. I'm not feeling creative.

I mean to write about a series of things that have disappeared from this modern world, but really should have stayed. It will be about ways that it used to be better, back in the old days. Do you know what it ought to be called?

Credit to Pictures of Detroit for the sad piano photo. It really is in a hotel room.

Ye Ole House in Towne

We got an offer that we accepted on the house. Yay! They don't want to close the deal until April 16, though, so it's strangely anticlimactic at the moment. It will be more exciting on April 16. The house has only been on the market for a little over two months. How, you may wonder, did we do it, in this economy?

Home sellers take note:

1. Price the house at $50,000 less than what it's worth.

2. Take advice from the people who post comments on your blog.

3. Stage the house with many monkeys in diapers.

4. Make your real estate agent wear a Buck Dollars Hat for good luck at every open house and showing.

5. Magical thinking.

6. Be sure to list any features which might be especially appealing to a Madison, Wisconsin buyer.

"Did I say that out loud?" is the new end of not saying things out loud

Conversation with my husband in the car:

Me: "I think if we get the blinds, we should get two, because it would look weird to just have one."

Brian: _______ [Silence with a devious look.]

Me: ________ [Laughing, because I think I know what he's thinking.*]

Brian: "Oh, did I say that out loud?" [Laughing.]

Me: "No, you didn't, actually."

More laughter.

Me: "You really didn't say anything."

Then, it dawned on me, that was perfect! How confusing! How amazing! How ridiculous!

The next time you're quiet for a while, just wait a bit, and then say, "Oh, did I say that out loud?" And then let your dear friend wonder what horrible thoughts were going through your mind that you didn't actually say.

Minions, it's a tough job, but you're up to it. You have the patience, the stamina, the temperament, the keen social skills. Go forth and befuddle!


* "Worst dinner ever," that's what he was thinking. That's a Buck Dollars joke. Don't pay any attention. Sorry.