Showing posts with label Big Z. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Big Z. Show all posts
Z with an American Kestril
My daughter really really wants to be in the coloring book, and I might just put her in it. Why not?
Fa la la la la
"And the goblins attack, and we fight them off with our Christmas Joy! And with the matches that we light with one finger!"
La la la...
"Did you like my song?" She asked.
"Oh, yeah! It made Christmas way more action packed than I thought it was!"
"What do you mean?" She asked.
"Well, I never knew that goblins attacked on Christmas! And we had to fight them off with our Christmas joy!"
"Oh, I was just combining the Christmas story and the Hanukkah story."
What to do when you are 8
I'm fascinated by the writings of my daughter. I find them all over the house. She must write a lot! The writings are such an interesting window into her brain. Today I found a short story about an elephant, the beginnings of a novel about someone whose parents died, and a tiny book about the size of a quarter with paper cut out in interesting designs. And this list (which I think is not too terribly personal):
I appreciate number 11. She really did clean the litter box. Number 8 is supposed to be "Lift Heavy Things" and number 14 is "juggle". Wherever it says, "1 mille" or "1 mile" that means to walk/ run a mile.
I believe she achieved all of the things on the list, except for "walk on front hands."
Today's Highlights
1. Talking with my friend Heather:
Heather: "I don't like how pig tastes like human flesh. I prefer eating chicken or turkey."
Me (facetiously): "And how would you know what human flesh tastes like?"
Heather: "Oh, my sister's law firm represented Jeffrey Dahmer."
Me: "????"
Heather: "Yeah, seriously."
Heather always has the most horrible stories. And no, I still don't know how she knows what human flesh tastes like, but she claims that pirates used to call it "Long Pork."
2. Selling at the farmer's market:
We have a booth next to a couple who bake pies and sell the pies by the slice at the farmer's market. The woman is originally from Scotland, and speaks with that accent. The baker couple has seventeen children. (That's not relevant to the story, but it's worth mentioning.) They always sit on low chairs behind their table full of pies. Today it was intermittently windy. It would be perfectly still, and then suddenly a giant gust would come up and blow over my signs for fresh eggs and chicken. One of those gusts of wind came up and, splat! A coconut cream pie went right in the Scottish baker's face. The wind had just picked it up and threw it at her! But that's not the highlight. The highlight was her nonchalant attitude. She just wiped it off, liked her fingers and said,
"Well, if you're me, you know that at some point, you're bound to get hit with a pie in the face, and that's all there is to it. Especially married to him." Her portly husband just sat next to her and grinned. Naturally, no one had a camera handy.
3. Big Z sold one of her cucumbers. (The cucumber plant was fruitful.) Then no one seemed to be buying any more, so she got the Scottish woman with seventeen children who had just gotten a pie in the face from God to cut up a cucumber for her, and Big Z went around and gave everyone at the farmer's market a free sample of her cucumbers, in the form of one slice of one giant cucumber. This didn't inspire anyone to purchase a cucumber, but it did make many adults happy, to see someone so young be so enthusiastic about vegetables. (The tomato seller said, "It's nice to see someone so young be so enthusiastic about vegetables.") And then Big Z bought four pints of cherry tomatoes, and ate half of them right there. And then she accidentally stepped on the bag full of tomatoes, and squished one, but the rest were pretty much okay. All in all, it was a good time at the farmer's market.
Heather: "I don't like how pig tastes like human flesh. I prefer eating chicken or turkey."
Me (facetiously): "And how would you know what human flesh tastes like?"
Heather: "Oh, my sister's law firm represented Jeffrey Dahmer."
Me: "????"
Heather: "Yeah, seriously."
Heather always has the most horrible stories. And no, I still don't know how she knows what human flesh tastes like, but she claims that pirates used to call it "Long Pork."
2. Selling at the farmer's market:
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| Fabulous baker with seventeen children blocked by shopping bikers in photo. |
We have a booth next to a couple who bake pies and sell the pies by the slice at the farmer's market. The woman is originally from Scotland, and speaks with that accent. The baker couple has seventeen children. (That's not relevant to the story, but it's worth mentioning.) They always sit on low chairs behind their table full of pies. Today it was intermittently windy. It would be perfectly still, and then suddenly a giant gust would come up and blow over my signs for fresh eggs and chicken. One of those gusts of wind came up and, splat! A coconut cream pie went right in the Scottish baker's face. The wind had just picked it up and threw it at her! But that's not the highlight. The highlight was her nonchalant attitude. She just wiped it off, liked her fingers and said,
"Well, if you're me, you know that at some point, you're bound to get hit with a pie in the face, and that's all there is to it. Especially married to him." Her portly husband just sat next to her and grinned. Naturally, no one had a camera handy.
3. Big Z sold one of her cucumbers. (The cucumber plant was fruitful.) Then no one seemed to be buying any more, so she got the Scottish woman with seventeen children who had just gotten a pie in the face from God to cut up a cucumber for her, and Big Z went around and gave everyone at the farmer's market a free sample of her cucumbers, in the form of one slice of one giant cucumber. This didn't inspire anyone to purchase a cucumber, but it did make many adults happy, to see someone so young be so enthusiastic about vegetables. (The tomato seller said, "It's nice to see someone so young be so enthusiastic about vegetables.") And then Big Z bought four pints of cherry tomatoes, and ate half of them right there. And then she accidentally stepped on the bag full of tomatoes, and squished one, but the rest were pretty much okay. All in all, it was a good time at the farmer's market.
Another Saturday Morning
Big Z did her first pet-sitting gig and got $80! (It paid $100 to watch three cats for two weeks, but I charged her $20 for transportation.) With her money, she has now purchased two fake banana slugs, which are sticky and gooey and realistic looking, and she keeps putting them places around the house and saying, "AH! A SLUG! HOW DID THAT GET THERE! YUCK!" Of course, once you've heard that gag once, it gets old. So, we kind of put up with this slug thing. Oh, that's really funny honey. I thought that was a slug, but it's not. Yeah. Really funny.
So, this morning, when Bad Assed Husband (BAH) got up and walked around and stepped on something squishy, he naturally thought it was a fake slug. Ha ha, very funny, he thought, and didn't even look down. After stepping on it a few times, he thought that the slug felt a little bit too squishy, and he looked down to see that he was actually stepping on a decapitated mouse, with its guts pouring out under the side of his foot.
The cats like to bite the heads off of mice and leave the bodies for later clean-up. They fight over who gets to bite the head off. The whole time, the mouse will be there, trying to get away, while one of them pins it onto the floor with one paw and fights the other cat with the other. Tigery generally wins the battle and bites off the head, but occasionally, she'll give it up to Bodkay.
Sweet kitties.
So, this morning, when Bad Assed Husband (BAH) got up and walked around and stepped on something squishy, he naturally thought it was a fake slug. Ha ha, very funny, he thought, and didn't even look down. After stepping on it a few times, he thought that the slug felt a little bit too squishy, and he looked down to see that he was actually stepping on a decapitated mouse, with its guts pouring out under the side of his foot.
The cats like to bite the heads off of mice and leave the bodies for later clean-up. They fight over who gets to bite the head off. The whole time, the mouse will be there, trying to get away, while one of them pins it onto the floor with one paw and fights the other cat with the other. Tigery generally wins the battle and bites off the head, but occasionally, she'll give it up to Bodkay.
Sweet kitties.
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| Bodkay usually loses the fight. |
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| They fight over mouse heads, but they love each other. |
Big Z
Little Z prefers to be called Big Z now that she has reached the sagacious age of seven years. 
It's difficult to draw people who never sit still. She almost sits still when she's writing emails or playing video games.
I think I might draw or write something every day of 2015. Wonder if I can.
2014 has been the most creative year of my life. It seems to keep the despair at bay. I recommend making art. It's a good hobby. It works for me, at least. It's like meditating, only easier and with the same benefits afterward. Although I have no idea if it's the same for others. When I meditate, though, my thoughts go like,
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"Oh, hey, I wasn't thinking there! Oh, dam, thinking about not thinking is a thought... Wonder how long I wasn't thinking for? Doh! That was a thought. Don't think. Don't think..., what time is it? @&$@ I'm the worst meditator ever!"
And when I'm drawing or painting, my thoughts go like,
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"Red there."
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"Perspective off."
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"Better now."
"Blue..."
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"@$&&ing pen's out of ink..."
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So, in summary, drawing is more meditative than meditating, for me, and I also sometimes have something worth saving in the end. So I think I'm going to make it a goal to do it a lot.
How about you?
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