I guess she's just not that into you, Tom.
Showing posts with label turkeys. Show all posts
Showing posts with label turkeys. Show all posts
Meanwhile, Back in the Barn
We did borrow a ram last December, so we are hoping some (if not all) of our sheep are pregnant, but how do you tell? Is that fluff, or little lambs inside? Only time will tell!
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| The one on the left is called "Little Lamb." This is what happens when you let a four year old name your animals. Now, if Little Lamb has babies, what do we call them? Little Lamb's Little Lamb? |
The guinea hen came to live with us last summer. That's right. Our farm is so nice, other people's animals defect, and come to live with us! She's a bit of an emotional nightmare in winter, though. I don't think she bargained on being cooped up for the winter. I keep the door shut when it's below freezing out, so they can stay warm. I did open it a while back, just to let her go, if she wanted to, but she came back in at night. So, I guess she's happy, sort of? I couldn't get a good picture, because she was running around, throwing one of her fits. Just not a winter person, I guess. You can see all of the chickens cowering in the corner, staying out of her way.
And this is my current favorite chicken:
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| Nesting in our shredded junk mail. |
Mr. and Mrs. Turkey are spending the winter perched up by the sunny window, chillaxin'. In the summer, they make a terrible racket and terrorize any child who dares come near them, but in the winter, they are quiet and mellow. They save their drama for other seasons. They seem grateful to be fed, this time of year. Of course, we see hundreds of their wild cousins, roaming around, looking for food, so I suppose they have it good. So what if we eat their babies?
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| That's the infamous Tom Turkey on the right, attacker of trucks. But if you compliment him, he leaves you alone. This seems like it cannot be true, but it is. Little Z figured it out. She told me, "Just tell him what nice feathers he has, and he'll stop gobbling at you." Sure enough, it worked. Everyone just needs a kind word, now and then. So now whenever he gets upset, "What a good turkey you are, such pretty feathers." "Hmph," says Tom, and stands proud and quiet. |
And, last of all, the bunnies. We didn't really know how the bunnies would fare in the barn, since they were house pets, but they just grew thick coats and burrowed into the wood shavings. They seem quite content. Also, I figured out they like orange peelings. Since I eat about two oranges a day all winter, this is a good thing.
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| Marshmallow eats her orange peels. |
Coming soon (I hope): baby chicks. Due to hatch this Sunday.
Comment of the day: I see you have a turkey there with them sheep...
We have a turkey out with the sheep. It's a long story.
The guys from up on the hill stopped by today. They were wondering if we had a Jacob ram we could loan them.
"No," and we talked for awhile.
"I noticed you've got a turkey out there with them sheep. Is that a Bourban Red?"
"Yep."
"Why is he out there? You couldn't catch him, or...?"
"I just needed a place to put him."
A few hours later- Ding dong! Doorbell rings again. It's another neighbour farmer, asking if I want to come up to his place and get some hay for the sheep.
"I noticed you've got a turkey out there," he says while loading the hay into the truck, later.
"Yeah. They crush the eggs, sometimes, when you leave the males and females together, so I put him out with the sheep. Now he thinks he's a sheep."
"Oh. I thought maybe you couldn't catch him or something."
"No, I could. I mean, I can't now. I mean, I could, but- Yeah."
You'd think people had never seen a heritage turkey living with primitive horned sheep before. People seem to have turkeys on the brain today. I can't imagine why!
The guys from up on the hill stopped by today. They were wondering if we had a Jacob ram we could loan them.
"No," and we talked for awhile.
"I noticed you've got a turkey out there with them sheep. Is that a Bourban Red?"
"Yep."
"Why is he out there? You couldn't catch him, or...?"
"I just needed a place to put him."
A few hours later- Ding dong! Doorbell rings again. It's another neighbour farmer, asking if I want to come up to his place and get some hay for the sheep.
"I noticed you've got a turkey out there," he says while loading the hay into the truck, later.
"Yeah. They crush the eggs, sometimes, when you leave the males and females together, so I put him out with the sheep. Now he thinks he's a sheep."
"Oh. I thought maybe you couldn't catch him or something."
"No, I could. I mean, I can't now. I mean, I could, but- Yeah."
You'd think people had never seen a heritage turkey living with primitive horned sheep before. People seem to have turkeys on the brain today. I can't imagine why!
Old Hens and New Turkeys
I have this friend who raises chickens in her backyard. Chickens in your backyard seem to be a thing now. It's kind of a movement, isn't it?
But what happens when they get too old to lay eggs?
Mary asked me if I would take her old hens. I said that I would just eat them, and she said that was fine. Not just fine, actually, but she was grateful. She offered me gifts. So, naturally, I accepted. She came over this morning with three old hens in some beat up crates and boxes. Her two little boys were with her, and I got the impression they didn't know about the chickens' fate.
Little Z, however, was well informed. After they left, she wanted to accompany me to "The Killing Tree" where we hang them upside down and decapitate them. I asked her several times if she was sure that she wanted to see this, and she was. She stood a few feet back while I did the deed. The first chicken was very quick and smooth. She was standing behind me, so I couldn't see her expression. I explained why the chicken's legs were still moving, even though it had no head.
I turned around and she looked so shocked! I've never seen anyone's mouth hanging open, for real, in shock.
"Are you surprised?" I asked her.
"Yeah!"
"What was surprising about that?"
"You cut its head off!"
"How did you think I would do it?"
"I thought you would burn it with fire."
My daughter thinks I set live chickens on fire!
I do not set live chickens on fire.
And here is an unrelated picture of Mrs. Turkey and some of her poults:
She looks suspicious of me. She may have good reason.
But what happens when they get too old to lay eggs?
Mary asked me if I would take her old hens. I said that I would just eat them, and she said that was fine. Not just fine, actually, but she was grateful. She offered me gifts. So, naturally, I accepted. She came over this morning with three old hens in some beat up crates and boxes. Her two little boys were with her, and I got the impression they didn't know about the chickens' fate.
Little Z, however, was well informed. After they left, she wanted to accompany me to "The Killing Tree" where we hang them upside down and decapitate them. I asked her several times if she was sure that she wanted to see this, and she was. She stood a few feet back while I did the deed. The first chicken was very quick and smooth. She was standing behind me, so I couldn't see her expression. I explained why the chicken's legs were still moving, even though it had no head.
I turned around and she looked so shocked! I've never seen anyone's mouth hanging open, for real, in shock.
"Are you surprised?" I asked her.
"Yeah!"
"What was surprising about that?"
"You cut its head off!"
"How did you think I would do it?"
"I thought you would burn it with fire."
My daughter thinks I set live chickens on fire!
I do not set live chickens on fire.
And here is an unrelated picture of Mrs. Turkey and some of her poults:
She looks suspicious of me. She may have good reason.
Thankful for all of the dead raccoons in the attic
I dropped Little Z off at school a few days ago and ran into her teacher.
"How's it going?" I asked.
"Oh, I was going to email you." said her teacher. "We were reading about nocturnal animals. Little Z says, 'Well, I don't know about all that stuff you're talking about. I mean, I don't know anything about that. But I do know we used to have a lot more turkeys, but the raccoons were eating them at night? And, well, if you ever need anyone to shoot and kill and skin your raccoons, and to put the skins up on the wall for you- you know if you ever have that problem? You can just call my mom.'"
"She said we could just call you!"
"Well, it's true," I said. "I guess you have my number?"
"If I ever have that problem, I'll know who to call!"
"How's it going?" I asked.
"Oh, I was going to email you." said her teacher. "We were reading about nocturnal animals. Little Z says, 'Well, I don't know about all that stuff you're talking about. I mean, I don't know anything about that. But I do know we used to have a lot more turkeys, but the raccoons were eating them at night? And, well, if you ever need anyone to shoot and kill and skin your raccoons, and to put the skins up on the wall for you- you know if you ever have that problem? You can just call my mom.'"
"She said we could just call you!"
"Well, it's true," I said. "I guess you have my number?"
"If I ever have that problem, I'll know who to call!"
Assumptions
Remember a while back when I shot those two raccoons that had been eating the turkeys?
Remember how they had eaten two of the turkeys?
I found the remains of part of one of the turkeys, a white one. The other turkey was a brown one that I just assumed was entirely eaten. This was at the beginning of the summer.
A few days ago, I was driving home. I had to stop for a turkey crossing the road. It was about a half mile east of home. This is common. Except- this turkey was not with a group of turkeys. It was all alone. And it didn't look like all of the wild turkeys. It was brown, and damned if it didn't look like that brown turkey I thought was eaten by the raccoons!
Hm...
Remember how they had eaten two of the turkeys?
I found the remains of part of one of the turkeys, a white one. The other turkey was a brown one that I just assumed was entirely eaten. This was at the beginning of the summer.
A few days ago, I was driving home. I had to stop for a turkey crossing the road. It was about a half mile east of home. This is common. Except- this turkey was not with a group of turkeys. It was all alone. And it didn't look like all of the wild turkeys. It was brown, and damned if it didn't look like that brown turkey I thought was eaten by the raccoons!
Hm...
Those &%%^#$%#^&& Turkeys!
Tonight was "girls night", meaning BAH went out and Little Z and I were at home. I put her to bed. I said,
"I have to go outside for about ten minutes, while I put the turkeys and chickens to bed."
"But they don't need blankets!"
"No. They just need me to shut the door so the raccoons don't eat them. I'll be ten minutes. God natt. Sov gott."
Ten minutes. Ha!
I went out and shut the chickens in, as usual. But those turkeys!
They were half of them in the Bioturkey 3000, half of them outside of the fence and not knowing how to get back in!
The ones inside the turkey house were gobbling away at the ones outside the fence, and the ones outside the fence were gobbling away saying, in Turkish (of course),
"We don't know how to get back in! How do we get back in? Oh no oh no oh no oh no but how do we get back in?"
Oh, for the love of god, I thought, these turkeys! These ridiculous turkeys! How did they ever get out? And why?
The turkey house is pretty far from the gate. I went back to the gate and then back around, outside the fence, to the turkeys outside.
They seem to view me as their mamma, so initially, I just opened the gate and called them. They all came running, until... there was this point where they couldn't hear their friends in the Bioturkey 3000 anymore, so they turned around and ran back! And then we were back where we started again.
Well, this wouldn't do at all. The turkeys had to go in for the night!
So, I walked over, and picked one up and threw it inside the fence. One down, five to go. But the other five didn't want to let me throw them inside the fence! Turkeys land fine, being birds, but they were scared of me then.
So, I took another approach. I decided to act really scary. I ran after them, towards the open fence. Four out of the five started running. So then I had to run for quite a stretch to that fence! But it was okay. It turned out I can still run. Who knew?
I shut in the four who ran into the fence when I ran like a bat out of hell after them.
Now there was one left.
It kept trying to just run through the fence. Is this how it escaped? I have no idea. I came up behind it when its head was caught and picked it up. Then I threw it over the fence.
After that, it was necessary to wait until they all calmed down and went inside the Bioturkey 3000. Then, finally, I could shut the door for the night. I counted them. All eleven were home.
Dude. All this for Thanksgiving dinner, for us and a few of our friends. I don't know!
They are a bit funny, I have to admit.
"I have to go outside for about ten minutes, while I put the turkeys and chickens to bed."
"But they don't need blankets!"
"No. They just need me to shut the door so the raccoons don't eat them. I'll be ten minutes. God natt. Sov gott."
Ten minutes. Ha!
I went out and shut the chickens in, as usual. But those turkeys!
They were half of them in the Bioturkey 3000, half of them outside of the fence and not knowing how to get back in!
The ones inside the turkey house were gobbling away at the ones outside the fence, and the ones outside the fence were gobbling away saying, in Turkish (of course),
"We don't know how to get back in! How do we get back in? Oh no oh no oh no oh no but how do we get back in?"
Oh, for the love of god, I thought, these turkeys! These ridiculous turkeys! How did they ever get out? And why?
The turkey house is pretty far from the gate. I went back to the gate and then back around, outside the fence, to the turkeys outside.
They seem to view me as their mamma, so initially, I just opened the gate and called them. They all came running, until... there was this point where they couldn't hear their friends in the Bioturkey 3000 anymore, so they turned around and ran back! And then we were back where we started again.
Well, this wouldn't do at all. The turkeys had to go in for the night!
So, I walked over, and picked one up and threw it inside the fence. One down, five to go. But the other five didn't want to let me throw them inside the fence! Turkeys land fine, being birds, but they were scared of me then.
So, I took another approach. I decided to act really scary. I ran after them, towards the open fence. Four out of the five started running. So then I had to run for quite a stretch to that fence! But it was okay. It turned out I can still run. Who knew?
I shut in the four who ran into the fence when I ran like a bat out of hell after them.
Now there was one left.
It kept trying to just run through the fence. Is this how it escaped? I have no idea. I came up behind it when its head was caught and picked it up. Then I threw it over the fence.
After that, it was necessary to wait until they all calmed down and went inside the Bioturkey 3000. Then, finally, I could shut the door for the night. I counted them. All eleven were home.
Dude. All this for Thanksgiving dinner, for us and a few of our friends. I don't know!
They are a bit funny, I have to admit.
Confessions
I've shot two raccoons this week.
I guess I haven't kept you all up with the farm activities much lately. We basically decided that sheep are too much trouble to care for in the winter, so we decided to raise free range turkeys for Thanksgiving, instead. This way, we'll slaughter most of them in the fall and have nothing much to care for all winter.
We kept the turkeys in the barn until very recently. They seemed big enough to go out and take care of themselves. We had ordered fifteen turkeys to start. Two of them died right away, so when we set them out to pasture there were thirteen. This was last week. Now there are eleven. Two were eaten by raccoons!
This week was payback for the raccoons- but I feel really sorry for them, anyway. They were just trying to eat, right? Anyway, I shot two raccoons, and if you can believe it, I kept the fur and tanned the hides because BAH wants a coonskin cap. Seriously. Although, if I keep catching these damned raccoons, we're going to end up like Clan of the Cave Bear around here with animal skins covering every surface in the house. How could I shoot two raccoons in two days? Is there just an endless number of raccoons out there? For the love of god. I have PTRD (Post Traumatic Raccoon Disorder). I dreamed about raccoons last night, nightmares about raccoons dancing around the turkey field. They were doing the raccoon dance.
Now I've basically covered the little roosting area we made for the turkeys, to make it raccoon proof. Having a place for them to be safe from the raccoons would be very much preferable to shooting the raccoons. So I've spent the past few terribly hot days in the blazing sun, sweating bullets, building some sort of raccoon proof shelter. My great fear is really that the turkeys won't go into it tonight! I guess I forgot to mention that the turkeys are super super dooper stupid. People told me they were dumb before we got them, but I didn't believe it because they said that about chickens and our chickens seem not to be dumb. I'm not sure I would call them intelligent, but they take care of themselves. They have personalities. They run inside when they see a hawk, for instance. Not so much with turkeys.
I've started to think of the raccoons as these sort of super beings that can climb anything! Is it possible to make a raccoon proof structure? I guess our house is one, and our barn is the other. At least they don't attack in the daytime. Still, these raccoons are driving me crazy.
List
I don't have the time for a proper blog post that would describe all I have been doing for the past few weeks and the reasons I haven't written, so here is a list that will give you some hints:
1. "The chickens are eating the strawberries! The chickens are eating the strawberries! Go out there, Mommy! Quick!"
2. Fencing, fencing, fencing.
3. We have baby turkeys! Turkey babies are called poults.
4. The Wise Man's Fear and The Name of the Wind (I'm reading them in the wrong order, but I like it that way. Maybe everyone should read them in the wrong order!) This is the first time I have seen the cover art for these books, finding links for them, and I have to admit I would not have bought them by their covers, not ever! But I heard an interview with the author on public radio and my husband bought them for me for the Sony ereader, so I never actually saw a cover before I became completely, totally engrossed in them.
5. Student: "Allen- um- [Ginsberg], or that dude- whatever- he was gay?"
Me: "Yeah, that was on a slide a few slides back, yeah, he was gay."
Student: "I mean, he was really gay? And he's dead now? Like, he was really gay?"
Me: "Yeah, he was gay. He was gay a few slides ago, fifteen minutes ago I said he was gay and I'm pretty sure he stayed that way his entire life. Yeah. People tend to do that. Stay how they are. It's nice you pick up on details."
I don't know. I was really annoyed.
6. Wine, wine. Beer, beer. Sunny, warm, and lovely days off on the weekend.
7. "Hi egg lovers!
I have a system now for eggs:
If you want more eggs, please leave an egg carton with your name on it in my mailbox. I will fill it with eggs as soon as I can, and when I leave it in the refrigerator at school, I will send you an email reminder to pick it up. Money in the yellow envelope.
You may notice that the spring eggs taste a little richer than the winter eggs. That is because, now that the weather has warmed up a little, the chickens are venturing outside and eating bugs. When there is snow on the ground, they tend to stay inside and eat their store bought chicken feed, which gives the eggs an uncomplicated flavor. Now, the eggs are much more interesting, and I think better. Even some of the shells are a different color than before, with freckles.
Best regards,
s---"
8. Stinky cheese at lunch. Unspoken, "I'm more cosmopolitan than you are" competition.
9. "Nice spread." As in, nice farmette. Nice country home. Nice solar power. Nice duck pond, etc. I think I may have a series over the summer, "Nice Spread," in which I shall present pictures of my favorite local farms to look at.
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