The worst thing I've ever done...

Little Z said,

"That is so low."

Yep.

I know what you're thinking. You want it. But it isn't for sale! This magnificent magic marker drawing on wood is going to hang in our bathroom! 

Everybody poops. Be prepared.

I have no idea what that means, either. 

That's an umbrella in the lower right corner, by the way. (In case my amazing drawing talents were leaving you wondering.)


Artist Statement
My work explores the relationship between new class identities and daytime TV.
With influences as diverse as Kierkegaard and Miles Davis, new insights are synthesised from both simple and complex discourse.
Ever since I was a pre-adolescent I have been fascinated by the essential unreality of the zeitgeist. What starts out as triumph soon becomes manipulated into a manifesto of greed, leaving only a sense of chaos and the prospect of a new beginning.
As wavering phenomena become distorted through diligent and diverse practice, the viewer is left with a clue to the edges of our future.

The Dizziotron 1950

Round and round and round and round and round and round and round and round and round and...

Art Show Highlight #2: The Hula Girl

We couldn't figure out how to turn the lights on. The house lights, I mean. Saturday night. We could figure out how to turn on the lights which illuminated our paintings, though, so it was fine.

And then someone went around, looking at paintings, while hula hooping. She actually was a part of the show, but this part was unplanned. [Is her name Lydia? I can't recall.]

The ghost of an imagined Professor Batty persona told me to snap this picture.



It's all a part of the art. That's what Andy would say, anyway. And he'd be right.

Art Show Highlight #1: Little Z is Better Than Me

I told Little Z that she could have one spot on my wall at the art show. The art show was three days.

The first day, she sold a mounted print of her collage, "Bunnies In Trouble (there's a wolf in the bushes)".


I explained to the people interested in it that the painting Little Z started with was painted by my grandmother, Ruth Porter. And then Little Z changed it in a computer program, adding bunnies swimming across a lake to get away from a wolf. (You have to look very closely to find the wolf, because he is a predator and he is hiding.) The man said he loved it.

"May I meet the artist?" he asked.

"Oh- no, I'm sorry! Her dad just took her home. It's her bedtime. She's six."

We ran into the parking lot to make sure they were really gone, but they were really gone. I wrapped it up for him. He payed me ten dollars for it. Then he went around and told everyone he met,

"I bought a piece from a six year old artist- and I love it!"

The next morning, Little Z didn't seem at all surprised to have sold a piece. It was like she expected it, almost.

So, then we had to find another piece to fill the spot for Saturday. Saturday, we put up this original drawing by Little Z:



I put it in a thrift store frame and marked it $10. Yet again, just after she left, a woman (another artist in the art show) purchased it. She said,

"I really like what she does with color."

One of the other art show kids was still there, and he tried to talk her out of buying it.

"The tummy's too big on that bird!" he said.

"Maybe she's pregnant," she said.

"Birds don't get pregnant! The lay eggs!" he was indignant. She bought it anyway!

I gave Little Z her ten dollars the next morning, and she said,

"I am a professional artist now."

I couldn't argue.

She found yet another piece to put up, a collage.

"This one was more difficult," she said. "I want you to charge $12 for this one."

Yet again, when she wasn't around, someone wanted to buy it... and then changed her mind. Thank goodness! Had she sold three pieces at the art show, she would have been insufferable. As it stands, she just feels lucky. Well, lucky, and like a "professional artist."

She bought a My Little Pony doll with her money.

And I am... Exhausted. Exhaust(ed)?

I give you "Shrine to Andy Warhol's Patriotic Teeth" by Dan Constien:

Actually, I'm keeping it.

Dan is another artist from The Tenderfoot Collective. I traded him this for a Thanksgiving turkey. Yeah, I know. It's not Thanksgiving. (But think of all we have to be thankful for!)

You're Invited!

Click here for more details!

Fail

I made this display for my magnets, and then BAH said,

"You know that stuff isn't magnetic, right?" And then he demonstrated. With a magnet. That fell off.

So... I guess that was kind of an important aspect of the whole magnet display for the art show. To be magnetic. But, um... At least we can still cut our hands on this, if we touch it. 

Cat and Bird

Ben Boyce's Scream

There's another member of the Tenderfoot Collective, Ben Boyce, who is just amazing! He did this last night:



He sells his work dirt cheap off his Facebook page.

He also did our recent update for the Tenderfoot Logo. Check out the detail:



I'm a big fan, obviously. I don't know how to talk about art, though, so I'll stop here.

Are you my mother?

A few days ago, I had my friend Amelia over with her dog Henny Penny. We were taking a picture of Amelia to enter into this contest. [She was like, "Do you want to wrap me in plastic and make me up like a dead Laura Paulmer and take my picture?" and I was like, "HELL, YEAH I WANT TO WRAP YOU IN PLASTIC AND MAKE YOU LOOK LIKE A DEAD LAURA PAULMER AND TAKE YOUR PICTURE! THAT IS DEFINITELY MY IDEA OF A GOOD TIME!"] This is the picture I took of Amelia to enter into the Twin Peaks contest:



Yes, this is what we do for a good time in the country.

Meanwhile, Henny Penny the dog was running around, enjoying farm life, and bit one of our chickens on the butt! Amelia was really, really apologetic. The hen was bleeding just a little bit, and really freaked out, so I put her inside the barn with our four little two week old chickens, thinking she wouldn't get hurt anymore.

Now, the hen is feeling better, but she has another sort of pain in the butt:



The little chicks think she is Mama. She is so annoyed, always trying to run away, but there's nowhere to go. Her life is changed forever.

Meanwhile, Henny Penny nearly poked her eye out while playing frisbee, and now Henny Penny must wear the cone of shame:



It's that instant karma, Henny Penny. It'll get you every time.