Crappy Bumper Sticker

I saw a bumper sticker today on a GMC Sonoma. (Why do they name trucks after every place I've ever lived?) The bumper sticker said,

JESUS LOVES YOU AND SO DO I

Hm.

What liars.


I guess they could have attained some higher level of consciousness whereby it is possible to love everyone on Earth, but then would they really be driving a GMC Sonoma and proclaiming it on a sticker? Does the Dalai Llama have a bumper sticker? What would Jesus drive? What about Buddha?

Indeed. JESUS LOVES YOU AND SO DO I.


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When I was a teenager, my dad had this sticker on his Honda,

F.A.R.T.
FATHERS AGAINST RADICAL TEENAGERS

I couldn't figure out if he was trying to embarrass me, or if he really thought it was cool. Or both.


My mother (just for the sake of comparison) had a bumper sticker that said,

WELCOME TO CALIFORNIA. NOW GO HOME.

Someone had tried to peel it off. Half of it was missing, but it was a strip across the middle, so you could still read it.


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I don't have any bumper stickers.


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The worst ones, really, are the environmental ones, which I haven't taken notice of in a while. Those ones with Chief Seattle,

THE EARTH BELONGS TO NO ONE, BLAH BLAH BLAH



I used to get so angry, riding my bicycle and seeing those stickers. I used to want to scream,

"You're driving an internal combustion engine, people! WAKE UP!"

But then I got older and I mellowed out a bit. Now I don't even care.

Well, I care. I just learned how not to be so angry all the time.


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Still a little bitter, I guess.

Sorry.