List of Lingering Questions about the Two Snow Days + Early Christmas Break from School

1. What about the secret santa gift I bought for Tim? It's still sitting on my desk at school, ungifted. And what did I get?

2. What about that yoghurt I left in the fridge? And the half eaten muffin? And the fruit juice with live cultures? Should I drink it after break? Is it even mine? I thought I finished that one, but then it was still there, in the fridge, that last day...

3. Why did the snow have to go and destroy my Christmas lights? (The tree doesn't light up any more, now.)

4. Have you seen my Christmas bunny? Or do you think it is more of a snow rat?

5. How can I regift my secret santa gift to my unknowing family members, if I never received any secret santa gift?

6. Am I really dead, now?


Happy solstice, everyone! Remember: the solstice is the reason for the season! No one really knows what time of year Jesus was born. The Christian holidays tend to coincide with the pagan holidays that came before them.

I don't care. I'll celebrate anything!

We do open some gifts on Solstice at our house. It's our tradition. But Santa comes on Christmas Eve at midnight, even if some people don't entirely understand that.

This little diddy is actually about pickles!

If the World Should End in Ice

Fire and Ice

Some say the world will end in fire,
Some say in ice.
From what I've tasted of desire
I hold with those who favor fire.
But if it had to perish twice,
I think I know enough of hate
To say that for destruction ice
Is also great
And would suffice.

-Robert Frost


Now we have school called off for another day! Which means: see you next year, everyone at school! And also means: yes, this is a fantastically huge snowstorm. A foot and a half or so is blowing around out there with some insane wind factor.

Snowmageddon Fever

Experts on happiness say that the happiest times are not going on vacation or visiting with friends or doing other things that supposedly make you happy, but actually, the time right before that: the anticipation of going on vacation or visiting with friends or doing other things you enjoy. Pooh Bear's most joyful moment is the moment just before he has a little smackeral of honey.

At school this week, we have had the anticipation of Christmas vacation all week to make people wired. Then there was the anticipation of Christmas. Then add in the possible snow day factor. Then stir in a little intense sadness induced by a school shooting, some anticipation of the end of the world at the end of the week, and you have a most bizarre and edgy concoction of emotions. I'm frankly quite glad to be done teaching for the day.

And guess what was on the answering machine when I got home? School is cancelled tomorrow for the blizzard. For real.

The weather people are predicting high winds, 12 to 17 inches of snow, and "Thundersnow". Thundersnow should be a superhero, don't you think?

Who Built the Pyramids? The Farting Hero.

Or any of that stuff? Easter Island? The Stonehenge ring?

There's this false assumption that some people make. The assumption is that ancient people were not as smart or imaginative as we are now. It could be that they were smarter and more imaginative. Also, more patient.

Did you know that the pyramid builders were paid primarily in beer? I'm serious.

In other news, god, these kids are driving me nuts. Three more school days. We have a blizzard warning, so who knows what will happen? Christmas break early? We're all hoping, of course. It says right there on the weather report, "Only travel in case of emergency." Does that mean I should call off work?

Today, I gave this fabulous lecture (if I do say so myself!) about Joseph Campbell's monomyth, The Hero's Journey. It culminated with something like, "You are all heroes on your own journeys. Your mission is to make the world a better place." Just before I got to that slide on the power point- or actually, right at that moment, right as I hit the button- someone farted. Loud and stinky. It took five minutes to get the class under control again.


My only consolation: When I collected their notes, 90% of the class had written down, "My mission is to make the world a better place." Including the farter- I think he farted intentionally right then. Some people have that talent, and most, if not all, of those people with that talent, make use of it in middle school lectures when their teachers are talking about the meaning of life!
Well, at least he's good at something. Perhaps the farter has found his bliss. But do you see how sometimes I believe ancient peoples were at least as smart as we are now? There aren't any cave paintings of people passing gas- or are there?

Oh, Christmas Tree

Every year, I put more lights on it. I can't get the top lights down any more. That's okay.

The trouble with not having television...

The trouble with not having a television is that your child then does not understand the finer points of the Santa Claus mythology. Case in point: Little Z wrote her name on the coffee table in crayon. I explained that this was naughty behavior, and Santa would know, and that he may not bring her presents if she continued writing on coffee tables.

"That's not true. Santa doesn't know," she said.

"No, really," I said. "Santa knows everything you do."

"I don't see any elves around." (She actually looked around when she said this.)

"He doesn't have to have the elves. He just knows."

"No he doesn't."

"Dude! Seriously! He doesn't have to send elves! Santa knows everything! He's magical like that. HE JUST KNOWS."

"That seems unlikely," she said.

She's five.

And I thought I was being such a good parent, only letting her watch that educational PBS crap on Netflix. Now she's questioning the omnipresence of Santa Claus? What next?

She also, in another conversation, said that she found it unlikely that Santa really went around in a sled pulled by flying reindeer.

"I mean how is that possible?" She asked in the back seat of my car, gesticulating from her five point car seat.

"The Night Circus" by Erin Morgenstern gets 10,000 DHB's

I stumbled upon The Night Circus through my husband- as usual. He picks out the books and I read them. He knows my taste. He said something like,

"It's about two magicians who are raised to fight each other to the death, but they fall in love."

So, yeah, that's what it's about, technically. So I thought it was like the Hunger Games. It's not at all like the Hunger Games. It is so much better!

The setting really makes the book, in this case. It takes place around 1900, or thereabouts, in a traveling circus. This circus is so different from any circus that ever has been or will be. It is a place where magic is real. Le Cirque des Reves.

That much makes it sound like a children's book, but it is not.

The book really treats friendships seriously. I like that.
I can't express how great this book is. I give it 10,000 DHB's.

X 10,000