Imagine Three Genres Rolled Into One

A friend of mine is putting out a new book. Though I haven't read it, her enthusiasm is amazing, and it's cheap enough to take a chance! 

The Book:

 

 

‘Abiku: A Battle of Gods’ is due for release on 16th September 2016. Pre-order now, from Amazon: http://amzn.to/2aGb3cO. 

 

Buys Can Be Cat Ladies, Too!

Double your pleasure: the author's is named Showalter, my name if I had been a boy. (Okay, I'm cheating, it's his LAST name...)

Apparently, this is a real thing, and it only costs $398.99! 

Book Round-Up for 2014

I liked every book I read this year! So the last book in the list is still a good book. But that means number one is a truly great book! I have no sorting of fiction or nonfiction or comedy or horror, so I'll include the genre after the title. They're all together because they're just the books I happened to read in 2014.

The Cryptonomicon by Neal Stephenson historical fiction
      There were times, reading the Cryptonomicon, when I felt like blogging about it and just quoting five pages at once to show all of you how great it was. But then I realized that would require that I pause in my reading and do something else, so that never happened. I could not stop reading this book. I read this through a strange combination of listening via audio book while I did farm chores and reading at night from a real book. That worked. Real people like Alan Turing are characters in this book, but the main characters are all made up. And what characters! Fascinating people. It's about people who crack codes and the drama around wars and such. And it's about so much more. I loved loved loved this book.

The Cryptonomicon is the the best book I read this year.

Going Green by Christina McMullen parody zombie fiction

    I feel a little bit funny putting this one at number two, because Christina McMullen reads this blog and it feels almost like an inside deal, but seriously, this book is at least number two for me. I read it three times in 2014. It's a quick read. The thing I love about it is that it's the only feasible zombie apocalypse story I've ever read (or seen in film). There's an actual legitimate explanation. And the characters are funny and real. The style in which it is written is actually a lot like Where'd You Go, Bernadette? but where Semple fails to make outlandish situations seem completely plausible, McMullen delivers (which feels really funny to write, because Semple is a Hollywood writer and McMullen is an indie author, but there you go). The text alone would put this towards the top of my list, but then McMullen went and had a special illustrated version with bonus material printed, and the artist for the illustrated version? Ben Boyce. So that just nailed it for me. The bonus material includes things to do in the event of the zombie apocalypse. Color your own zombie, for instance. This is the kind of thing I've never really seen done well before. But there you have it.

Ben Boyce illustrated Going Green by Christina McMullen,
my second favorite book of 2014. 

Futility Closet: An Idler's Miscellany of Compendious Amusements 

by Greg Ross nonfiction trivia and thought puzzles
   Another independently published book, this time a book of facts, oddities, puzzles, and really interesting things that you never knew. Each tidbit takes about five minutes of your time. This is a book you can put down and pick up again many times, and always feel entertained. I had to resist the urge to go around reading stories from it out loud to everyone I knew. I mean this in the best possible way: a good bathroom book. 

Animals doing the jobs of humans is but one category
of interesting stories in the Futility Closet: An Idler's Miscellany of Compendious Amusements,
my third favorite book of 2014.

Never Let Me Go by Kazuo Ishiguro psychological horror fiction
    This comes off as a boring story for the first half, maybe, until you realize what is really going on. And then the second half is... disturbing. It's one of those books where you are left with more questions than you got answered, but at the same time, Ishiguro is a master at making you grab for that extra... something. I liked how he messed with my head. He knew what he was doing.

Farewell, My Subaru: An Epic Adventure in Local Living by Doug Fine nonfiction comedy
    This Doug Fine guy was someone I could really relate to. Enjoyable read all-round. I believe I wrote a review already of this one.
 
The Alienist by Caleb Carr historical fiction mystery
    This is something that really took me by surprise. It's a Sherlock Holmes-esque story that takes place in early twentieth century New York City, and the case involves a serial killer who kills young male prostitutes. Very strange! And interesting. Teddy Roosevelt is a character in it. It's a highly entertaining read. The only thing I didn't buy was the female detective in it.

Bossypants by Tina Fey nonfiction autobiography
    I guess I'm not that with it, but before I read this, I didn't know who Tina Fey was. It was still a good read. My friends who read it said it was "hilarious," but I honestly didn't laugh as much. I just thought she had a great story to tell.

Hyperion 1, 2, 3... 4(?) by Dan Simmons science fiction fantasy
    This was a huge time investment. It was one of those things where I got so invested in this alternate reality that I had to know what was going to happen next! Did I enjoy the time spent reading all of these books? Yes. And they put me right to sleep at night for two months straight.

Where'd You Go, Bernadette by Maria Semple fiction comedy
    I believe Maria Semple has, among other things, written for television. It shows. She has a good ear for dialogue. Her characters are hilarious. The only reason she is this far down the list is that I just couldn't wrap my head around the ending. I didn't buy it. But the book is laugh out loud funny at times. I would still recommend reading it. For example, Bernadette and her daughter like to observe the "smiling angry people" which is people who, the angrier they get, the more they smile? Or something like that. I could totally relate. She had me at "smiling angry people," but she lost me at... um... the ending. (no spoilers)

Ready Player One by Ernest Cline Science Fiction Fantasy
     This is great for people who enjoy eighties memorabilia, movies, and I don't know... video games, of course. Light-hearted fun. It takes place in a future where life is so awful that everyone lives in a virtual reality and just plays video games. What I couldn't understand was how, in this dystopian future where people don't have fuel or anything to eat, how could you power all of this elaborate infrastructure for the interactive video games? It's still a good read, though.

The Terror by Dan Simmons horror fiction
     I came to this book with overly high hopes because I love Dan Simmons in general, I love real-life arctic adventure stories, and because I thought I heard my cousin Corey say once that this was his favorite book of all time. It was, indeed, a great book, but by great, I mean the archaic definition, "big". This book is too long for a horror book. Or... something. I did the audio book and the real book at night, but it turned out that I got the abridged audio book, so some things didn't make sense. Even the abridged version was excessively long, though. I don't know. It was too long to hang out in hell, basically. I enjoyed the conclusion, though, and I loved the characters. I feel like one of my old middle school students, saying a book was too long, but it is! To love this book, you just need lots of time and a love for macabre fantasy in the arctic. (I do recommend reading Drude first, if you have never read Dan Simmons. Thanks to Zgjenyue for turning me on to him.)

The Sisters Brothers by Patrick DeWitt  fiction

    This book was entertaining. It's about these psychopathic brothers who go around killing people and make their way down to San Francisco during the gold rush and get into some trouble. Someone they're mixed up with invented a chemical to make gold magically come out of the ground. What could possibly go wrong? They have a weird relationship with each other and with their mother, who tells them to masturbate when their tempers get out of hand. It's a page turner, but I think some of the historical facts aren't real and that bugged me. I like my historical fiction to be really based on history and not just fictional historical fiction, which is just some weird alternate reality fantasy pretending to be historical fiction or... well, anyway, it was still a compelling tale, and still a good book, just a few little issues bothered me. Also, it was difficult to relate to psychopathic hit men in the 1850s. Still, a lovely read. Luke warm recommendation.

Light Reading

My daughter needs this book. She has been talking for weeks about how she's going to live in a hole in the ground in the woods.

An Excerpt from, "Let's Pretend This Never Happened" by Jenny Lawson

This part of the book deals with protecting your house in the country from foxes by urinating around the perimeter.

Page 294: "I called my mom to ask whether Daddy could drive a few hours to come pee around my house for protection, but she said he couldn't, becasue it's a really busy season for taxidermy. But she said if I 'really needed it' she could probably mail me some. I considered it, buth then said no, because first of all, that is a package I don't ever want to sign for, and second, because I can already predict that Victor will be all pissed off (no pun intended) that I asked my father for help protecting us from foxen, and then Victor will be all, 'I AM THE ALPHA MALE IN THIS HOUSE AND NO ONE IS PEEING ON IT BUT ME.' Then the next time my dad comes over they'll end up in a pissing contest. Literally. Except Victor is too competitive and he'd probably push it too far and would be like, 'oh, yeah? Forget pee; I'll throw up everywhere!' and I'll be all, 'Your overachievement is gross.' We never had these problems when we lived in the suburbs."

I laughed out loud about 50 times while reading this book. She's as funny as David Sedaris. (Actually, I don't think her blog is quite as funny as David Sedaris's books, but her book is totally as funny as his books, which is the only fair comparison anyway.)

"Miss Peregrine's Home for Peculiar Children" gets 2,000 DHB's

This book combines found photographs and a few monsters to spin an excellent yarn. The style of it works for me, as well. The descriptive writing is excellent. The story keeps a good pace. It's not incredibly scary, but it is exciting and creepy. There is also most definitely an element of the supernatural.

The thing that really makes it work for me are the pictures, though. If you like looking at other people's poorly taken pictures, if you ever have sorted through photos at a flea market and found yourself making up stories to go with the photos, then this may be your book.

Miss Peregrine's Home for Peculiar Children by Ransom Riggs.

I give it 2,000 DHB's.

x 2,000

Sally and Herbert

Herbert the Lion, that is.



"There was once a little girl named Sally who wanted a baby lion. She already had a doll's house, two dolls, a tea set, and a toy zebra on wheels, but she didn't like any of them. All she wanted was a lion, a real, live lion. So one day her mother brought her one from downtown."

-Clare Turlay Newberry, Herbert the Lion, 1931

(A favorite of Little Z's)

The Exuberant Animal by Frank Forencich

The "Exuberant Animal" is you! This book basically says that you need to behave like an animal, because you are one. Also, you should play. Also, the normal types of "gyms" basically suck. Also, before leading a sedentary lifestyle, you should consult your doctor, because it's killing you!

I haven't actually read the entire book, but I've read all around it and I get the picture. We need to live in our bodies and enjoy being in our bodies. Be present in our lives. And socialize! And play!

The wisest person you know is your dog. (I don't have a dog and I don't like them at the moment because we had one just kill a chicken, but I'm willing to play along.) Your dog lays around and plays, mostly. If someone comes to the door, he goes into freakout mode and barks and yaps, but then if he knows the person, he immediately calms down and licks them or whatever. He doesn't obsess like, "Oh no! That was my best friend Carol! How could I yap at her? God, I'm such an idiot. She hates me now." No, no. He just stops yapping and gets his favorite toy for her to throw. Because, not only does he not obsess over things, your dog never stops playing. Playing is not just for puppies. Playing is for everyone! Why does the dog play? Who cares? It's just what dogs do! They play!

And humans are actually the same way, or should be. We should do movements that we enjoy. Also, we should play with other people.

Forencich is really against those gym machines, like the treadmills and the stationery bikes, where you just do the same motion over and over like to be done with it! Not to be conscious of your body or enjoy nature or perform any real work, but just to be done with it. This is the worst sort of exercise. Exercise should be challenging and fun and social.

Some parts of this book I really loved, because they affirmed my parenting style, which is like this,

"Go out and play!"

I think most people my age or older had parents who said that a lot. It seems like it isn't so common anymore. I think the world has become afraid. Well, not the world- the U.S.

Apparently, when you go outside and play, and you're bored or whatever, and then you get interested in something, and then you do something, that's when your brain is growing and your body is learning as well. The best kind of play for children, according to Forencich, is unsupervised playing outdoors.

This part reminded me suddenly of a documentary, "Children of the Holocaust," where the one child (who was interviewed later as an adult) had been placed in a concentration camp. He said that he and the other children there fantasized about two things: to eat a lot, and to play unsupervised. That was all.

This book covers so much that I won't go into it all. I haven't even finished it yet, and I already have so much to think about. It spawned a discussion about how we used to play as children, which was really fun and interesting. We did gripe a lot about the kids we get in class who don't seem to know what to do with free time, because their lives have become so structured. Then we all went to lunch and came back, and before the teacher began again, a woman said,

"I just have to say something." (Oh, no, I thought. Here it comes. More about how kids don't play like they used to.) "I was driving back from lunch," she said, "and it was raining as you know. I saw two little girls, barefoot, no adults around, playing in the puddles. Just playing."

The Next Book for Harry Potter Fans

I have been somewhat absent lately from the internet. I haven’t even been playing Lexulous on Facebook! That’s because I have been reading books, books of fiction, two in fact:

The Wise Man’s Fear

and

The Name of the Wind

by Patrick Rothfuss.

You’re supposed to read them in the opposite order, but I’m not one for conformity, and I’m not sure it matters that I read them backwards. I enjoyed them both a lot. I’m trying to think why they were such good reads- 1800+ pages total- and I realize that these books have a lot in common with Harry Potter. Teenage wizard? Yes. Orphan? Yes. General feel of being an outcast? Yes. Going off to a special school that teaches magic? Yes. Some sort of human yet not human supervillain who killed his parents? Yes. Three months or so of nudity and sex with a faery queen or something? Oh, wait. I guess that hasn’t got much to do with Harry Potter.

There’s also a pretty intense, slightly overblown love story. But still - great reading. I highly recommend it.

Now I just have to wait for the third book!

Mindless Minion Shrugged

There was this van that used to drive around Durango, Colorado, when I was in college. There were many unique vehicles there at the time. This one had giant letters on the back.The letters were large and reflective and they said,

READ AYN RAND.


And then today I saw this. Same person? I will never know.



They made a movie of Atlas Shrugged! Well, actually, two movies. Holy cow. Could anything be worse?

We currently have a copy of The Philosophy of Ayn Rand holding up a chifferobe with a missing foot. It's very useful.

Of course, Atlas Shrugged is quite powerful. Moving, really. With a slight touch of modestly and ambiguous fortitude.

I jest. Have you read it? It's full of phrases like, "his eyebrow twitched with a hint of bashful sensuality, as clearly he detested her amorous rigidity." (Only much, much longer.) It made no sense at all. Yet, the moral was quite clear: um... unscrupulously she built a railroad and made lots of money but didn't because the one she loved was... um...

Well, damn, just read the book.

Although you really shouldn't, because everyone who does becomes a complete jerk for a few months, and then usually gets over it. Then you move on to Dostoyevsky.

Good Reads: "Decline of the Lawrence Welk Empire: A Novel" by Poe Ballantine

As a child, my grandparents spoiled me in every way possible, but when Sunday night, Seven PM rolled around, they were suddenly quite strict. There was nothing, nothing in this world that could keep them from watching "The Lawrence Welk Show". It was then that they became different people, their faces transported to an otherworldly Nirvana as they watched those magical bubbles float across the screen.

And that's why the title of The Decline of the Lawrence Welk Empire grabbed me immediately. The author, Poe Ballantine, is a frequent writer in The Sun. He's a fantastic writer of the truth, in all its nuances. I didn't know, when I picked up the book, if he would pull through on the fiction front.

The book starts out a little bit worrisome, seeming like the ramblings of some middle aged guy about his raucous youth. Edgar, the main character, gets kicked out of college for acting like a complete idiot. His one saving grace is that he knows he's been an idiot, so I read on. And then, through some series of events that really could happen, and really could happen to some idiot like me, he follows his best friend to an island in the Caribbean. I think it's a fake island that Ballantine made up- no matter. Once there, Edgar sees the darker side of his friend, he falls into lust with a worrisome woman, and also it turns into, well, kind of a zombie book. It gets really awesome, actually. I couldn't put it down for the last one hundred pages. I mean, it doesn't get cheesy at all. The zombie thing falls into the storyline as naturally as drinking orange juice for breakfast. The main character, Edgar, doesn't believe in zombies, of course.

Of course.

Now that I'm done with, Decline of the Lawrence Welk Empire: A Novel, I feel lonely. I want to go back there again.

For those of you who don't read fiction...

A few years ago, I read this book called, Rat Scabies and the Holy Grail: Can a Punk Rock Legend Find What Monty Python Couldn't? I thought, initially, that it was a fiction, but after a few chapters, something didn't feel quite right. I looked all over the book and there was no marking that it was fictional. Then I looked up Rat Scabbies, and became friends with him on Myspace, downloaded some of his fantastic music, and noticed his status update was "Grailhunting". No, no. This was truth!

It's a fantastic story about these two guys (Rat Scabbies and Christopher Dawes, his fan) from England who go to a small town in France where people believe in Holy Grails and aliens, among other things. It's truly laugh-out-loud funny all the way through. My favorite little detail is that Rat Scabbies does the whole Grail hunting trip, which lasts for several months, in his house slippers. He never puts on a pair of shoes. I won't reveal to you what exactly they find. I think the best way to read it, though, is to watch that ridiculous movie with Tom Hanks before hand, just to set the mood. Then watch it all fall apart in hilarity when you read the Rat Scabbies book.