The Ostrich Stage

LIttle Z is supposed to stay in her room, in her crib, and try to go to sleep for forty-five minutes or so in the middle of the day. You know, a nap!

Today, I discovered her standing outside her bedroom door when she should be napping. Seeing me, she quickly covered her face with her hands, and stood, perfectly still.

She really thought I couldn't see her!

I picked her up and put her in her crib.

* * * * * * * *

The fifth or so time I discovered her trying to get out of her nap today, she wanted to get back into her crib on her own. I agreed that was okay. But then, she just sat their, straddling the railing, and wouldn't really get in.

"Go on!" I said, "get back into bed!"

"Shshshshsh..." she whispered, putting a finger over her lips, "Little Z asleep!"

Other People's Stories: The Screamer

Grandma Amy and Grandpa Alvin used to spend their yearly vacations driving a VW bug all over the US and Canada. They just drove and drove. They looked at things, they drove on. Putta putta putta...

They packed food in the cooler to eat, and stopped to sleep at hotels, generally. Grandma Amy was tall (for the time- maybe 5'7") and slender, and wore the same white dress for many of the photographs of her. She had the palest skin possible and very dark brown hair.

Once, they checked into a hotel on an incredibly hot day. Alvin went out to the car for something. Amy was really hot, (she was from San Francisco,) so she took off all of her clothes and lay back on the bed and stared at the ceiling. While she was laying there, cooling, a man who worked for the hotel unlocked the door and walked in, not knowing that someone was already in the room. Upon seeing her naked on the bed, he screamed like a little girl and ran out.

She told me this story. She didn't tell many stories. She didn't seem to take it personally.

Me, I would have taken it personally. I would have thought, what's wrong with me that men who see me naked run away screaming?

Not Grandma Amy, though. No. She just thought it was hilarious.

Music from off the beaten path

These people sure can swing.

My dad plays a lovely version of this song, as well, but he doesn't look as cute with the flower in his hair.

Things I Love About Two Year Olds, Continued

The development of preferences. Until they are two, babies are just, well, babies. They like things, but they pretty much like things that you lead them to liking, or it's impossible to tell because they mostly just drool and poop and fall down and stuff. Then, when they're two, they're like little people! It's so cool.

We went to this restaurant on New Years Eve that had a TV hanging from the ceiling with a basketball game on it. Little Z's daycare had told me once that they thought she liked basketball, and I got her a little basketball and hung a hoop out in the shed, real low for her. I figured that was the end of it. That, I think, will be the beginning of it.

She saw this TV with the game on, and immediately, she pointed at it and said, delightedly,


I was surprised that she could even tell what it was, because when you watch basketball on TV, everything is so small, and it was just this little TV hanging from the ceiling, fairly far away. How could she even tell it was basketball? As far as I know, she had never seen basketball on television or even seen a real basketball game, but she knew exactly what it was, immediately.

She then slid out of the booth and stood right in the middle of the room, underneath the TV, and watched the game. Periodically, she would point once again, a blissful smile upon her little round face,


She kept looking around the room, too, incredulously, like she couldn't believe all these people were just eating and talking to one another, when they could be watching basketball!


It was starting to get a little awkward. We finally coaxed her back to our booth by pointing out that she could see the TV much better from there, actually.

So, I guess our girl likes basketball. She also likes to wear black tee shirts and use public restrooms. She's her own person now, although she does still drool sometimes.

Migratory Ramblings.

I heard on the radio that the Snowy Egrets have finally made it to their wintering grounds in Florida. It's already mid January. They sure spend a lot of time flying. I imagine they left here around November. Though it was warm- maybe they waited a bit longer.

It's a hard winter this year. Two blizzards already. Only today did it go above twenty, for maybe the second time in three weeks. I have this general lassitude settling in all around me. The birds fascinate me. There are birds who stay here all winter- Woodpeckers, Cardinals. You see squirrels in the trees when it's below zero. Pheasants roam the forest. How do they do it?

I wonder how the migratory birds do it. What does a map of the world in the mind of an Egret look like? What would it be like to fly? Not in an airplane, but just by your own power?

Childish questions. Still, I wonder.

What language does Pingu speak?

Little Z was sick today with a cough and a cold. I called the doctor, and the doctor's nurse (unnecessarily) warned me that, if my child should turn blue and start panting, this would be reason for concern. Well, I guess they have to say that, but... seriously? They have to say that?

Since she was sick, I (normally the TV Nazi who only allows twenty minutes of Yo Gabba Gabba once per day,) just let loose and we looked for something appropriate on the Netflix instant list. We found this great penguin, Pingu:

But what language is he speaking? You can almost make it out...

I think he's very funny. A lot of the children's shows are hard to watch once you're grown up, but this guy is really cool.

By the way, grandparents, I think Little Z is going to be okay. Nobody turned blue or started panting today.

Natalie Dee has a great idea for saving the world!

Check out this comic(click for original web address).

Flaming Waffles

TLBP added some cheese to the top of his eggs this morning and put them in the toaster oven to bake. Suddenly he screamed,

"Something in there's on fire!"

It was a waffle. I guess one of us left a waffle in the toaster oven, and it caught fire. It was sitting there burning, almost like a candle. The whole thing. One half of a Belgian waffle, burning like a duraflame log in the toaster oven. (At least the eggs were cooking nicely in there.)

Through some cursing and awkward maneuvers with pans, we managed to throw the burning waffle (and, sadly, the eggs) into the sink and run water over it.

Little Z just sat and colored the whole time, unconcerned, thanks to the new present she got yesterday from her horror loving honorary auntie.

"Da fire!" she muttered as she colored.

TLBP thought that, if this waffle fire business had happened to me when I was alone with Little Z, I would have burned the house down, but I maintained that, considering all the things I have actually caught on fire while cooking (sweet potatoes, for instance) I would not burn the house down this time. I've put out so many kitchen fires in the past, you see.

Though I'm not sure that's a good thing.

Things I Love About Two Year Olds

The simple conversations. There are generally two types.

Type 1: Mastering the Obvious

Little Z: "I got two eyes. Two eyes. Daddy? Daddy got two eyes?"

Daddy: "Oh, let me see here. One. Two. Yep! I got two eyes! And they're both the same size."

Little Z: "Mommy? Mommy got two eyes?"

Me: "Yes, yes. I have two eyes."

Daddy: "Are you sure?"

Me: "I think so."

Daddy: "Are they both the same size?"

Me: "Probably."

Type 2: Bossing People Around

Little Z (armed with drawing implements): "Draw zebra!"

Me: "Okay."


Little Z: "Choo choo train! Play with choo choo train!"

Me: "Okay."


Little Z: "Sit down!"

This one's my favorite. She always says this when I'm cleaning.

Me: "Okay."


Little Z: "Do puzzle!"

Me: "No. I don't like puzzles."

Little Z: "Me do puzzle self. My puzzle. Mine. Me do self."

Home, when we go home...

I just discovered this band, Edward Sharpe and the Magnetic Zeroes. I think they're great!

It's so nice to find a new band you really like.

Subterranean media recluse that I am, I have no idea if they are super popular or super obscure. I hadn't seen what they looked like until I looked them up on youtube. I like how they look like a moving party. With a band like this, who needs an audience? They give the impression that they would be partying with or without you. Also, bands with a good whistler and a trumpeter are pretty awesome.

TLBP really likes this song, too, and he promises me that the next time we record a Christmas album, like in ten years or so, he'll play this with me as a duet. So, should we change the *whole little story in the middle to something personal? I don't know. There's lots of time to consider this, though.

*Here's a better version of the song, non-live, with the little story in the middle I was talking about. It doesn't show them at all, though, so I embedded the live, not as good version.