I would tell you what this picture is about, but I have been sworn to secrecy. I can only tell you that it is for the Coloring Book of the Tufa.

Bronwyn's Mandolin

This is another one for the Tufa Coloring Book!

mandolin coloring page

What does Yoko have to do with deworming sheep?

We have this sweet little sheep named Yoko. This morning, I noticed that Yoko had some dingleberries, which meant she needed to be dewormed. Joy!

Later in the day, I corralled all of the sheep into a small area. Then, I went to catch Yoko, and she jumped high into the air! Which made me yell, involuntarily,

"Whoa! Yoko!"
Yoko the Sheep
Yoko, standing in front of her mom, Chyoko.

Now, some people say Yoko's talent is overrated, but I saw how high she jumped, and it was HIGH! Yoko has a great talent, if you ask me. Then I grabbed her, and she struggled, and I said,

"I'm never ever ever ever ever gonna let you go...

"...until you swallow your medicine and I clean around your bottom."

And now I'm covered in poop.



A Scary One!

Watch out! 


Run for your life!

That forest is not normal! 

R.I.P. Prince

Man, I love Prince. So sad to see him go!

When I was a kid, my three sisters were a lot older than I was- eight, nine and ten years older, so they were in high school when I was in grade school. My dad did a lot of gigs at night, and my stepmother worked all sorts of odd hours as a telephone operator. My sisters babysat me a lot. As soon as the parents were gone, they didn't really pay a lot of attention to me. One night, a certain *sister of mine who shall remain nameless had friends over and they wanted to go see this new movie, "Purple Rain," at the drive-in in Petaluma. But what to do with Shana? They determined they could sneak me into the drive-in (it was a rated R movie) by having me lay across their feet, with a sleeping bag over top of me. So, that's what they did. I was in a car load of teenagers, and I lay across their feet, and hid. Once we got in, I thought they would let me get out from under the sleeping bag, but no. They didn't want me to watch the rated R movie! Whenever my head popped up, they said, "Go back under the cover!" So I heard Purple Rain from under a sleeping bag. Hearing it was the best part. And honestly, I watched most of it when they weren't looking. I learned a lot. I was ten. That night was a highlight of my childhood, to be sure. What an adventure!

I've always just loved the music from that movie. Rest in peace, Prince.

*I actually can't remember which one it was. I think it might have been two out of the three. 

Murgatroyd Buttercups 2

This is another illustration for my friend Yosha Bourgea's children's book, Murgatroyd Buttercups.


Z Draws Babe Ruth

Guest artist Big Z, a.k.a. Zanimal, a.k.a. my daughter, did this progressive sketch study of the famous baseball player Babe Ruth:

Babe Ruth
My favorite is middle, third row, because it looks like a monkey. The one underneath looks like Scott Walker.

New Coloring Book of the Tufa

Coming 2016! Alex Bledsoe and I are collaborating on the Official Coloring Book of the *Tufa.

Today, I drew a scene from it... except I took some serious liberties! This guy is supposed to be by a campfire, but I got a bit carried away with the flames. The thing is, the scene is so hellish! But it's more of a mental hellish than a physical hellish. This is drawn from a description in Long Black Curl.

*The Tufa are a mythical people created by Alex Bledsoe. The first book in the series is called, The Hum and the Shiver. I highly recommend it. 

Murgatroyd Buttercups

A friend of mine has asked me to illustrate a story he wrote entitled, "Murgatroyd Buttercups." This is my first idea for the first page, which says,

"This is Simple Town.
It is a quiet place.
Most of the time."

The Weirdest Thing

Someone asked me what the weirdest thing in my house is.

The weirdest thing in my house is actually outside of my house, but still on the property. It's our mutant sheep, Corvette. She has five horns. The first horn is a little tiny one under her right ear. The second horn is a giant horn on top of her head, on the right side. Then, on her left side, number three and four are right next to each other, on top of her head. Then the last one is a nice big one, in front of her left ear. I think that's pretty weird. Sorry the background kind of makes it hard to see, but I put numbers for you. (When she dies, I am definitely saving her skull and putting it in my house, so Corvette's head is basically the future weirdest thing in my house.) Corvette is a Jacob sheep.

five horned sheep

Negative Space Number One

Music Monday: B0b Plays in the Key of "Odd"

My dad, Tech Guru and Master Musician Bob Lee, has been experimenting with some crazy stuff again. He first did this on his classic album, "The Technical Academy Plays B0b." It's an algorithm that plays music in the key of Odd, and a time signature that I like to call, "*Facial Twitch."  Take a listen if you dare. 

*I actually have a physical reaction to the Technical Academy. Do you?

Go to Paris for Six Dollars

You may remember that, about a year ago, I wrote and illustrated a funny book about an uncomfortable trip to Paris I took once with two of my friends. It was called, Avoiding Sex with Frenchmen, and it cost about $25. I was somewhat baffled at the time as to why it had to be so expensive. Now that I've published a few more books, in color and in black and white, I know the reason: color pictures are expensive to print.

So, just to see what happened, while I was publishing the Birds in Beards Coloring Book, I went ahead and re-published Avoiding Sex with Frenchmen, but with black and white pictures. The price went down dramatically: $5.98. The price went down from about $25 to about $6! So, in case you never bought it because it was too expensive, I totally understand, and now I released it as a cheap second edition! It's the same book exactly, just with black and white pictures, and cheaper.

The quality is still pretty good (or, you know, in relation to how it was before).

I prefer this picture in black and white. There's something about a black and white rainbow that I find amusing:

Paris for Six Dollars
This is just a screen shot, so it's too small to read, but the plane says, "Air France 'you can smoke on the plane,'"
which was true at the time the story takes place.

I guess it's confusing, but I'm leaving the color version of the book still for sale, too, because it has such good reviews, and also because some people really like color pictures. But if you want the new, cheap, black and white version, click on these words. The new cover looks like this:

Paris for Six Dollars

This Pig is Not For Sale

pig not for sale
I love pigs.

Nature's Cutest Fertilizer Producers

I spent much time today shoveling rabbit poop into a vehicle,
driving it out to various gardens, and dumping it. Rabbit poop is great fertilizer- and they're so darn cute!

I never draw rabbits, because my daughter draws rabbits. I don't want her to think I'm "copying" her. So don't tell! It does seem apparent, sadly, that I have not drawn a rabbit before. 

F#@# Yeah!

Apparently, you have to swear in the title to get your coloring book in the top one hundred- or, at least, it's a good move.

Number One Amazon Bestseller in Coloring Books for Grown-Ups:
Calm the Fuck Down.

Number 3: Have a Nice Life Asshole

Number 8: I Am Sick of This Shit

*My next one can be a tribute to Professor Batty. It will be lots of super detailed drawings of Iceland. I'll call it, "I'm Not Sorry My Website Doesn't Work on Your Fucking Phone."

*Today is April Fool's Day. 

New Today: Birds in Beards Coloring Book: A love story.

I really thought it would be an April Fool's Joke- Amazon said 3-5 days- and then I woke up this morning, and it was there! So! Time to celebrate!

This is Birds in Beards Coloring Book: A love story. 

The "love story" is the epic poem that I wrote to go with the pictures. It's the same old tale: Girl meets boy, boy has birds in his beard, you know the one. You've heard it all before.

You may think it's nice, and you may think it's weird,
but beware of the man with a bird in his beard.