The Horror

At first, there was the nausea, vomiting, diarrhea, chills, a runny nose, goosebumps, sweating, tears, insomnia, aches and pains in the muscles and joints, extreme restlessness, yawning, abdominal cramps, and dilated pupils. Then there was the anxiety and depression, with severe cravings for the blog. Inexplicably, I also developed muscle spasms in the legs which caused me to kick.

Though I feel like maybe the worst is over, I still have a psychological dependency, thanks to the fact that Ghosts in the Pantry fundamentally alters brain chemistry.

Why, Glory von Hathor, why?


I took our trash to the dumps today. It just rained a lot and then got warm, so the stench was impressive. As I was unloading the trash, a guy next to me started up a conversation,

"Beautiful day at the dump today." I smiled kindly, and pointed out the obvious,

"All you can eat!"

The First Egg!

One of our chickens laid an egg! It's very small. I put it with the other, store bought eggs, and it's the little one on the bottom right.

We have three chickens separated from the rest. Two of them were at the lowest end of the pecking order, and they have scratches that are healing (chickens can be mean), so we separated them to heal. Then we put in one extra chicken for company. We call their little coop, "the Hospital Wing". The egg was in the Hospital Wing.

I'm pretty sure the eggs will be bigger when the chickens are fully grown. This little one is almost a practice egg.

So exciting. Our little chickens are growing up and becoming useful.

Things I've learned from Facebook

I know a lot of people are down on Facebook lately, but I'm not at all. Privacy concerns? Pshaw. It's the internet.

Yeah, it's a big waste of time. If you believe in that. How can one really "waste" time? Time just is. You spend it as you will.

I have caught up with a few people, and very happily so. I've visited at least one friend I would not otherwise have. I keep in touch with relatives a lot. You know who you are.

The most interesting thing for me are the people I knew in high school. Sometimes, of course, there are things you didn't want to know- the drug addict is still a drug addict. The person who was always the most romantic person you knew is recently divorced. That sort of thing. But then there are the good surprises. It's been mostly just as my dad always told me- all of the nerds are fabulously successful. Or at least they appear to be so on the internet!

But, most of all, everyone is so friendly and nice. Did everyone get nicer, or did I just not let people be nice to me in high school? I'm really suspecting I was a little bit of a loser as a youth. A year or so ago, I looked through my yearbooks (for a game on Facebook, of course) and was shocked by the dozens of phone numbers I never called, the blatant requests for friendships that I just completely ignored. (Did I leave my own number in anyone's yearbook? I can't remember at all.) I've always enjoyed having just a few close friends, but even considering that, I was a bit cold as a teen. And shy. The joy of life, lucky for me, is that we can always change.

The Last Video for a While

It's just too cool:

(That's me, falling off the bike. It was an awkward beginning to my career as a stalker.)

Brandy Daugherty

I love this. I could never sing a song like this, because I would worry that Grandma Ruth would hear it.

That's Duncle Ennis on drums.

Perennial Spinach

BAH's grandpa was a little bit of a gardener. He had some fruit trees, and when the fruit started forming, he would put a radio in one of the trees, tuned to baseball games, and that would keep the birds from eating the fruit. He also grew a perennial type of spinach.

He always had a lot of perennial spinach. Since I love spinach, he would always share a bunch with us when we came over to visit. Since it was perennial, it came back every year, same spot, unlike other spinach. It also had very pointy leaves, unlike other spinach. And the leaves grew on little stocks, unlike other spinach. Also, it tasted like no other spinach I've ever had before or since.

Actually, I'm pretty sure he just cultivated some sort of weed and believed it to be spinach. But it's the thought that counts, right?

Appliance Meltdown!!!!

Since we moved out here to Wonderful Hammerdown Manor von Farm, nearly all of the appliances have broken, and some of them more than once. I shall write the symptoms first, repairs in parenthesis:

* Microwave blew up
* Dishwasher spouted a leak and flooded the kitchen
* Vents in nifty massage bathtub stopped venting
* Washing machine blew a valve and overfilled and flooded the bathroom
* Water from the well state tested and found to be undrinkable and stinky
* Washing machine makes high screatch and will need a new motor
* Oven just broke this last Saturday- no heat, no display, no nothing, needs new something or other

Seven things in eight months. How bizarre.

The repair man came today and declared that he could fix neither the oven nor the washing machine, and he's very sorry, but he'll keep in touch. The rest of it except for the bath jets have been fixed. (Those of you coming to visit- the water is drinkable. Fear not!)

Sad Jobs

I called the home warranty people about that screech in the washing machine.

Home Warranty Dude: "Just so you know, unfortunately, uh, you will have to pay the $85 deductible for this."

Cellar Door: "That's what I expected."

Home Warranty Dude: "I just like to tell everyone, so they don't get a slap in the face when the bill comes."

Cellar Door: "I promise I won't slap the repair man in the face when he asks me for money."

Home Warranty Dude: "Oh- uh- we don't advocate violence- I mean- I was just saying I don't want you to be surprised..."

Cellar Door: "That was a joke. I was making a joke."

Home Warranty Dude: "Oh, uh, ha ha. Yeah. A joke. We don't get many of those around here. Ha ha." (Strange breath of relief.) "So, that screeching, is it a high pitch or-"

Cellar Door: "Wait a minute- do people just yell at you all day?"

Home Warranty Dude: "Yeah. Pretty much. I mean, occasionally someone will be understanding, but yeah, pretty much people aren't very happy when they call. Once in a while, someone is nice."

Cellar Door: "I'm sorry."

Note to self: Do not apply for a job answering phones at the home warranty company.

It always decreases my faith in humanity when I hear things like this. It's not his fault our washer is making a horrible noise, after all. Or his fault that our dishwasher didn't work, or that the microwave blew up, or that the washing machine flooded the bathroom twice. At least he answered the phone. If I were him, I might call in well. ("I can't come to work! I feel so good! Don't want to ruin it. See you when I'm down again.")