I called the home warranty people about that screech in the washing machine.
Home Warranty Dude: "Just so you know, unfortunately, uh, you will have to pay the $85 deductible for this."
Cellar Door: "That's what I expected."
Home Warranty Dude: "I just like to tell everyone, so they don't get a slap in the face when the bill comes."
Cellar Door: "I promise I won't slap the repair man in the face when he asks me for money."
Home Warranty Dude: "Oh- uh- we don't advocate violence- I mean- I was just saying I don't want you to be surprised..."
Cellar Door: "That was a joke. I was making a joke."
Home Warranty Dude: "Oh, uh, ha ha. Yeah. A joke. We don't get many of those around here. Ha ha." (Strange breath of relief.) "So, that screeching, is it a high pitch or-"
Cellar Door: "Wait a minute- do people just yell at you all day?"
Home Warranty Dude: "Yeah. Pretty much. I mean, occasionally someone will be understanding, but yeah, pretty much people aren't very happy when they call. Once in a while, someone is nice."
Cellar Door: "I'm sorry."
Note to self: Do not apply for a job answering phones at the home warranty company.
It always decreases my faith in humanity when I hear things like this. It's not his fault our washer is making a horrible noise, after all. Or his fault that our dishwasher didn't work, or that the microwave blew up, or that the washing machine flooded the bathroom twice. At least he answered the phone. If I were him, I might call in well. ("I can't come to work! I feel so good! Don't want to ruin it. See you when I'm down again.")