Why iTunes is Bad and How My Husband Turned Back Time

We "rented" the latest James Bond, Skyfall, from iTunes Friday night. It started "downloading" (so last decade) and we watched something else for a few minutes, then it seemed done, so BAH clicked on "play". It played for two minutes, and then froze. The little icon said it had six hours to download. Six hours? What is this, 1998?

We were fine with watching it the next night, but here's the kicker: It also said that, once you started playing it, you had 24 hours to watch it. So, the situation was this: BAH paid them $5 to rent a moving picture that would be ready to watch at 2AM Sunday morning, and we had to watch it before 8PM Sunday, or we just lost our $5. But, we have a person in the house who cannot be awake when we watch James Bond motion pictures, as she would be terribly disturbed by the content, but she goes to bed at 8PM, when the motion picture was set to expire. So.

I pretty much figured: You win some. You lose some. We lost $5. Worse things have happened. And, that's the last time I rent from iTunes.

But wait! There's more!

I went to bed early. Fell asleep. Little Z got up in the middle of the night to pee for the first time ever! Yay! I ran into her in the hall. Went back to sleep. Woke up in the morning, and BAH says, "I fixed it so we can watch James Bond tonight."

The first thing that went through my head was that scene from the Superman motion picture, after Lois Lane dies, and Superman makes the world spin in the opposite direction so that time moves backwards and Lois Lane comes back to life!

"How did you do it?" I asked him. "Did you turn back time?"

"Yeah, actually, I kind of did." You see! He has super powers! "I mean, I waited for it to download, and then I disconnected the internet and reset the computer's clock back. All we have to do is stay off of the internet all day, and we can watch it tonight!"

And it worked. We watched Skyfall. It was everything a James Bond motion picture should be.

But was it worth all of the trouble? Totally. For me, at least. Now I know my baby can turn back time!

My Favourite Head Shop

This etsy shop is in keeping with an ancient tradition.

It's called 99 Heads, and you can find all 94 of them here. (They must've sold 5!)


My first Etsy sale! I sold this quilt:



The Mumsy and her Cookbooks

My husband's grandmother, affectionately called "Mumsy", died last week. She was a great collector of cookbooks and recipes. She clipped recipes constantly, and compiled them into different collections.

BAH took her book of one of his favourite things, Zucchini, and he is now publishing it on line at themumsy.com. He will be publishing recipes piecemeal, like a blog.

It is a tiny piece of one woman's lifelong hobby. I highly recommend it.

Here is a picture of the book with all of the recipes inside:

Yes, it's really from 1972.

I will be trying out the recipes, of course.

Can you guess what next year's garden will be full of?

Scott Nelles

Scott Nelles creates this loveliness:

Seriously. Wow!

Aliens! I love aliens!

... and a winged pig with wheels! What's not to love here?

He has 69 of these treasures, at his Etsy shop.

Mindless Plug for the Poll

Please fill out the poll off to the side, here. Pretend you are shopping for an attractive wall hanging, maybe some folk art for over the couch. Which domain name is best? These are all dirt cheap domain names that are available. My new book, How to Market and and Sell Your Art, Music, Photographs, and Handmade Crafts Online, recommends you get your own web sight, exclusively for what you are selling. At this point, I'm planning on selling art for your home. I also have an idea for a self help book for young teens... and lots of other ideas... theremins... lots of stuff. I'm having trouble sticking to one thing. I still have a job for a few months, though, so there is a bit of time to figure this stuff out.

Anyway, can you help me by filling out the survey? I will most likely purchase the domain name with the most votes, so choose carefully!

P.S. If you have any ideas of your own, leave them in the comments. If you would like to see if they are available, check godaddy.com.

P.P.S. "Site" not "sight"-- though we have lots of web sightings in the barn.


Strangely common ideas...

A book discussion at school today led to me admitting that my daughter thinks we might all just be toys of some giant robot. A girl in the class, who wasn't in the reading group, overheard and yelled across the room that she used to think the exact same thing, when she was five years old. She said she imagined that we all looked like doll house people to the robot. She seemed really excited to meet someone who knew someone else with this same, seemingly unique idea. Then a boy chimed in,

"We're all god's toys," and I went to give him a high five, but realized at the last second that he's fourteen and too cool for high fives, and then just gave him a thumbs up.

This Valentine's Day, remember: Nothing says "I love you" like...

... a port a potty for two.

Irrational Fears

Things I'm irrationally afraid of:

1. I'm afraid to go to Starbucks. It's one of those skills that I am pretty sure everyone else has mastered, except for me, and if I started going now, I would just embarrass myself, not knowing what exactly is expected of a person, once she walks into the doors of a Starbucks.

2. I'm also afraid to use hair care products (besides shampoo) for the same reason. I suppose everyone else learned how this stuff works in middle school? Gel, mousse, spray... I've attempted a few times, and chickened out after one use. I'm afraid I'll look like a fool.

3. Answering the telephone.

4. Not answering the telephone.

Things a lot of other people are irrationally afraid of, but I'm not:

1. Round-a-bouts

2. Teenagers

3. My Bad-Ass Husband!!!

4. Bees

(#3 may not be true.)

This Mind Blow Brought to You by Little Z


I opened the trunk of my car today in the school parking lot, and a giant gust of wind came. The wind picked up a white plastic shopping bag out of the trunk of my car and set it flying across the parking lot. The plastic bag then caused me to go chasing after it. It billowed in the freezing wind, touching down lightly on the plowed parking lot, and then, every time I got close to it, it went sailing again. With the plastic bag always just ahead of me, I went running across the lot.

A utility guy was digging a hole nearby with a giant drill. What his thoughts were, I do not know. He will not be mentioned again.

The bag finally reached the edge of the plowed parking lot. I thought it would get caught on the giant mound of snow left by the plows, but the billowing bag actually went sailing right over it. I stood at the edge, contemplating. Is anyone watching me? Would it even be possible to walk across the frozen tundra and retrieve the bag? How deep is that snow?

A distant beeping horn broke into my guilt-filled revery. My car alarm was going off, across the parking lot. I pointed my key and clicked. No result. Self-consciously, I ran closer to my car, and pressed the button. No go. I kept running. Now I was running with arm outstretched in front of me, car key in hand, click click click, but the resounding beep beep beep kept on. Finally, a few feet from my vehicle, the horn stopped.

And I got in the car and drove away.

I'm sorry I littered.


When I was mother to a very young child (when she was 2 or so) I had this recurring waking nightmare of sorts: that I would be in a very tight situation- like, being burned alive or something- and I would have to rely on my baby daughter to help me to get out. It would be a simple thing: give me the key. Give me the key. GIVE ME THE KEY! Then I would ultimately burn alive because the child would surely either become distracted while trying to help me, or start crying for some random reason that I never understood. These kinds of doomsday scenarios, where my daughter failed to save me, would occur to me often, because I had nothing much to think about. My other strange fantasy was about everyone in the world dying, except for maybe five or ten percent of us. I imagined all of the streets deserted, weeds growing up. I read the World Without Us. It was good.

Then, we bought the farm. A few months after we moved out here, I realized I had not had one thought about most people in the world dying. I still had a few thoughts about my daughter failing to save me- now in farming accidents.

Those finally disappeared when she basically got a brain in her head.

Girl with Flute

Growing Up in a Nutshell

Three in the Morning

Three in the morning: Little Z comes in, wakes me up, and asks me to get the the cat out of her room. The cat is standing behind her, having followed her to see where she was going.

Sorry about the pictures...

I've gotten all caught up in my doodlings and haven't written much. I'm sure it's just a phase!

Snowing Where It Never Snows

Lone Streetcar with Lone Star:

I've been feeling a little creative lately. Over the next week or so, I've scheduled a picture to pop up, more or less each day. Some of them have words. Some of them are altered in ways. I'm not sure what's going on here.

I had this fever over the past few days. Though I am essentially an atheist, I still sometimes take a supernatural view of fevers. I think it's because I tend to have mild hallucinations when I have a fever. I'll hear noises that aren't there, for instance. And I'll think of things I don't normally think of-- Like, hey, why don't I make some art on this computer here?

It's turning into something, going somewhere. I didn't draw the streetcar's destination. Who knows where it will lead?

Special thanks to my dad, who put all the old family photos on a zip drive for me a few Christmases ago.

A Hole in the Time/ Space Continuum

So, okay, this is weird...

I'm recording some music on this computer in the living room. Then I switch over to surfing the internet. I'm going to all of my usual haunts, Facebook, Blogger, various web sites, and all of a sudden, the security is super high. I have to sign in twice, use a captcha, verify my security questions, and then it asks for my phone number. After I answer everything correctly, Facebook suggests that I share my current location with friends. Every website seems to think that I am somewhere far, far away. But I am at home. In Wisconsin.

Oh, and also, everything is in Swedish. Web sites in Sweden usually end in ".se" instead of ".com", and sure enough, I seem to be at the same blogspots, etc, but now they end in .se and are in Swedish. Entirely.

It must be around here, somewhere... I've got to find it: the wormhole to Sweden!