Horse Doodles

Drawing while my daughter had her horseback riding lesson, I decided I'm no good at drawing horses.

This one has a Hitler mustache. 

This one looks like a cow with saggy udders.

There's not much for a parent to do at horseback riding lessons, except to watch and to draw. Who knows? Maybe I will learn to draw a horse yet. 


You know, if you work east of where you live (and you work days) the sun is never in your eyes on your commute.

The "Perfect" Bacon Bowl Maker

"Perfect Bacon bowl Everything tastes Better in a BACON BOWL" I thought this would be good to put salads in- the "perfect" lunch! 

 I followed the instructions to the letter... Twice. 

"Perfect!" For three tiny tomatoes, if you balance them carefully. 

Although, it is the "perfect" way to cook bacon, as long as you aren't hung up on the "bowl" part.

Free Today

I suppose you've all read it already, but if you know anyone who might like it, my first book is free today in the Kindle Edition (I think it's probably still going to be free tomorrow, too... it's been a while since I scheduled this giveaway!):

Thank you to everyone who wrote reviews of it! That helps me a lot.

P.S. I had a great vacation! Thanks for asking. Went to California. It was lovely. My dad and stepmother were sick, so it was very chill at the Old Lee Homestead. Then we went down to The City (as San Francisco is called locally) and played for a couple of days. The way home was a little frustrating, with silly and unnecessary flight delays, abut we made it home in the end. I am now a year older and maybe five years regressed in wisdom. Also fatter. But it was fun. Great to see old friends. 


I'm taking a break for a week or so. See you all after Easter (a.k.a. my birthday). It's a good time to take a break. 

Part of a Poem and a Free Coloring Page

To accompany my epic coloring book, I wrote a poem. Each stanza will go next to a picture.

Here are some snippets of the poem- the stanzas next to some possible blog readers. Can you guess which stanza goes with Professor Batty? Jono? BAH? Bobby Lee? John Francis?


When he got the owl
I mentioned "addiction,"
but he just laughed;
it inspired his "fiction."

His behavior continued
getting weirder and weirder.
I wanted him to shave,
but he just got bearder and bearder.
Wearing masks in the night
and feeding birds on his tongue-
regurgitated food!
His ideas were far flung.

But I started to get worried
about death and strange things:
if he died, would the bird follow him?
and haunt me and my siblings?

And then he took up with
a sweet old Sage Grouse.
and I began to consider
if he should be my spouse?
There were worse men out there-
who didn't have a birdhouse
already in their beard,
but was it really so weird?


They were cute for a while,
until he got too obsessed.
He stayed on the couch
and the house was a mess.
The chickens were on him
every day and every night.
No one was there
to sympathize with my plight!
Every time I got up to go to the loo,
he would say,
"What are you going to do?
Can you get me a drink
or a spoon of Nutella?
I've got chicks on me, you see.
I'm a really nice fella.
But I can't move a muscle
or the chicks will get cold!
You understand, don't you?
I can't lose my hold."

Then he went and got a turkey!


And then there was the day
when things really went south;
the hummingbirds were there,
attacking his mouth.


The swans came and
lived with us.
He didn't think it queer
to have a whole nest there,
living in his beard.

As time went on,
he got a dreamy look in his eye-
a peace dove on his shoulder,
I did not know why.

Then he cheered up
as the weather got colder,
a full sized swan
in his beard and on his shoulder.

free coloring page birds in beards
Free coloring page! Share it with your friends. The Birds in Beards Coloring Book is coming April 1.

Old School

After trying to make my book cover several times in drawing programs, I succeeded- and somehow saved it at 70 dpi, and couldn't get it any better. I don't know why. 

So, I have reverted to old school paper, pens, construction paper, scissors, and glue. It's coming along nicely.

I still have to scan it, of course.

I went to scan all of the pictures for my book at the local public library, and they were having a Celtic Harp Tea, which is apparently when a harpist plays lovely music, audience members drink tea and eat crumpets, clapping after each song, and one person very quietly and carefully scans 33 drawings of beards and birds, saving it all on a handy thumb drive and sneaking away as quickly and quietly as possible into the pouring rain, pictures safely tucked into a laptop bag.

Z with an American Kestril

My daughter really really wants to be in the coloring book, and I might just put her in it. Why not?

At Mary's House

I didn't get around to drawing anything yesterday. I was at Mary's house. But I don't regret it.

Birds in Beards Cover

Worked some more on the cover today:

Coming April first, 2016. I hope to God someone buys it! 

Salmonella Day

This may be the ugliest Salmonella Day cake ever made! But also hopefully the tastiest? It's a cheesecake.

Marcelo Has a Chicken Problem

This is the last bird in a beard. I think, probably. Maybe. So buy the coloring book, "Birds in Beards" on April 1st. 

Mark Has Barn Swallows...

Of course. Mark is a farmer. Mark is wearing coveralls under his vest- a fashion statement that I can relate to, as a farmer.

Birds in Beards Coloring Book comes out April 1, 2016. If you do the Facebook, you may like to sign up for the Book Release Party here

Felippe and the Hanging Parrots

hanging parrots for birds in beards coloring book
Brazilian beards are also strong as steal. 

How do we measure consciousness?

This little animation combines two of my favorite things: original Star Trek and a discussion of human consciousness. The results are a bit grim!


Why asked the eye by shoshanah marohn 2016

I know what you're thinking. You're thinking, Eye don't know


Mike Mutant Goggles has some Red Breasted Nuthatch eggs in his beard. ("Birds in Beards" coloring book comes out April first.)

Parisse and the Choir of Sparrows

"Why do birds suddenly appear
Every time you are near?"

It must be because I just add them when they aren't really there, actually.

Parisse has a choir of sparrows on his arm.

Choir of Sparrows

Birds in Beards coloring book for adults comes out April 1, 2016. :)


Matt Evans is keeping his owlet warm. (For the new coloring book, "Birds in Beards," coming April 1, 2016.) 

Bare-Handed Falconry!

Victorio Piva is practicing bare-handed Falconry. (Victorio has a beautiful instagram: (I think Victorio is a bona fide model.)

For my upcoming coloring book, "Birds in Beards," coming April 1, 2016!

Coloring Contest Winners!

Everyone won! Yay!

Every valid entry is in this collage, which will serve as the back cover of Birds in Beards (coming April 1, 2016).