Part of a Poem and a Free Coloring Page

To accompany my epic coloring book, I wrote a poem. Each stanza will go next to a picture.

Here are some snippets of the poem- the stanzas next to some possible blog readers. Can you guess which stanza goes with Professor Batty? Jono? BAH? Bobby Lee? John Francis?


When he got the owl
I mentioned "addiction,"
but he just laughed;
it inspired his "fiction."

His behavior continued
getting weirder and weirder.
I wanted him to shave,
but he just got bearder and bearder.
Wearing masks in the night
and feeding birds on his tongue-
regurgitated food!
His ideas were far flung.

But I started to get worried
about death and strange things:
if he died, would the bird follow him?
and haunt me and my siblings?

And then he took up with
a sweet old Sage Grouse.
and I began to consider
if he should be my spouse?
There were worse men out there-
who didn't have a birdhouse
already in their beard,
but was it really so weird?


They were cute for a while,
until he got too obsessed.
He stayed on the couch
and the house was a mess.
The chickens were on him
every day and every night.
No one was there
to sympathize with my plight!
Every time I got up to go to the loo,
he would say,
"What are you going to do?
Can you get me a drink
or a spoon of Nutella?
I've got chicks on me, you see.
I'm a really nice fella.
But I can't move a muscle
or the chicks will get cold!
You understand, don't you?
I can't lose my hold."

Then he went and got a turkey!


And then there was the day
when things really went south;
the hummingbirds were there,
attacking his mouth.


The swans came and
lived with us.
He didn't think it queer
to have a whole nest there,
living in his beard.

As time went on,
he got a dreamy look in his eye-
a peace dove on his shoulder,
I did not know why.

Then he cheered up
as the weather got colder,
a full sized swan
in his beard and on his shoulder.

free coloring page birds in beards
Free coloring page! Share it with your friends. The Birds in Beards Coloring Book is coming April 1.


  1. So excited, I can't wait for the new book!! (hoping it's not an April Fool's joke, haha. Would be perfect timing!!) :) Thanks for the early page.