The trouble with not having television...

The trouble with not having a television is that your child then does not understand the finer points of the Santa Claus mythology. Case in point: Little Z wrote her name on the coffee table in crayon. I explained that this was naughty behavior, and Santa would know, and that he may not bring her presents if she continued writing on coffee tables.

"That's not true. Santa doesn't know," she said.

"No, really," I said. "Santa knows everything you do."

"I don't see any elves around." (She actually looked around when she said this.)

"He doesn't have to have the elves. He just knows."

"No he doesn't."

"Dude! Seriously! He doesn't have to send elves! Santa knows everything! He's magical like that. HE JUST KNOWS."

"That seems unlikely," she said.

She's five.

And I thought I was being such a good parent, only letting her watch that educational PBS crap on Netflix. Now she's questioning the omnipresence of Santa Claus? What next?

She also, in another conversation, said that she found it unlikely that Santa really went around in a sled pulled by flying reindeer.

"I mean how is that possible?" She asked in the back seat of my car, gesticulating from her five point car seat.


  1. She (and you) has saved herself a lot of future misery. Some kids have a very hard time giving up the Santa idea. Ali(Oliver)actually cried, hard and for a long time when she found out it was all lies.

  2. It's weird, but she still believes in Santa- she just believes him to be more of a human being and less of a god like entity.