What's the worst gift you've ever received? And also, what did you do with it?
I used to feel really guilty about getting rid of gifts that I didn't like. I don't really, anymore. Maybe that's why people don't give me as much these days! Who knows?
I'm not sure who all actually reads this blog, so I hesitate to actually mention what the worst gifts I've ever received were. Let me just say that a bad gift is one that:
a. is incredibly unsuited to my belief system
b. is incredibly unsuited to my personal style, or
c. is completely and utterly worthless.
I'm sure I have, myself, given my share of these.
We have a tradition of gag gifts in my family, and I remember one year, Aunt Donna (rest her soul- I hate writing that, but she's gone) gave me her old wallet. I'm talking a really old wallet. I didn't know it was a gag, and I did my best to pretend to like it. She, of course, laughed at me for an hour or so. "The look on your face!" she said.
Also, (just to share some family peculiarities,) for a while, there was a pair of old men's shoes going around as a gag gift. And I think- those who know, correct me if I'm wrong- I think someone spray painted them silver one year, and gave them to Duncle Ennis, and he liked them! He wore them. Duncle Ennis, in turn, gave everyone a box of candy corn one year for Christmas, the kind that has "a prize in each box". Another year, he gave us each a Debbie Gibson single (in the days of vinyl records), got out a golf ball, and suggested we all play golf with him (the large holes in the middle of the records were supposed to be the golf holes). And I think there was one year he gave kazoos. And one year, quite mysteriously, he actually gave me a hundred dollar bill. I felt it to make sure it wasn't counterfeit. I rather miss Christmas with Duncle Ennis.
That's not what I'm talking about, though. I'm talking about things you really, really don't know what to say about. How do you deal with such calamities?
So, what's the catch (curse)?
Brian and I are both intrigued by this house. It's on a fairly busy street, and we've always noticed it, because it's so incredibly rectangular. Driving by it always sparks a conversation between us about whether it's cool, or whether this design is just too weird:
Front:
Back:
We were both a bit surprised to notice a "for sale" sign in front of it a few days ago, because it seems like it was just for sale a year ago. What's the deal? Is it haunted? Is it too weird? It's in a really good neighborhood. The street it's on is busy, but the house is set back far from the street, and all of the windows face the woods out back. I wonder if it's just creepy to live there. I adore this kitchen (at least, from the picture):
That straight line!
The really strange thing is the price, $239,800. It looks huge, and it's in a good neighborhood. It's by a wonderful, large park, the kind where you hike through the woods. Also, very close to Taco Bell, which may not be a selling point for most, but I confess it is for me. Our house is probably worth $200,000, so we could almost afford to live there. I think we would, except... there's something wrong with it, isn't there? What is it?
Oh, and there's this note: "Home being ???SOLD AS IS??? "
They couldn't get the blood stains out of the wood flooring, could they?
Front:
Back:
We were both a bit surprised to notice a "for sale" sign in front of it a few days ago, because it seems like it was just for sale a year ago. What's the deal? Is it haunted? Is it too weird? It's in a really good neighborhood. The street it's on is busy, but the house is set back far from the street, and all of the windows face the woods out back. I wonder if it's just creepy to live there. I adore this kitchen (at least, from the picture):
That straight line!
The really strange thing is the price, $239,800. It looks huge, and it's in a good neighborhood. It's by a wonderful, large park, the kind where you hike through the woods. Also, very close to Taco Bell, which may not be a selling point for most, but I confess it is for me. Our house is probably worth $200,000, so we could almost afford to live there. I think we would, except... there's something wrong with it, isn't there? What is it?
Oh, and there's this note: "Home being ???SOLD AS IS??? "
They couldn't get the blood stains out of the wood flooring, could they?
The Zombie Doll, Final Look- Lock up the kids
I didn't want to post this before Christmas and spoil the surprise for Jen, so here it is now, in all its glory, the finished zombie doll:
Christmasy, isn't she? The head is removable (velcro) and attached with a bit of pink elastic, for that head-hanging-by-a-tendon look.
I really got into this. I don't know what that says about me.
Christmasy, isn't she? The head is removable (velcro) and attached with a bit of pink elastic, for that head-hanging-by-a-tendon look.
I really got into this. I don't know what that says about me.
सेलिब्रेटिंग थें एंड Now
Every Christmas gift was perfectly wrapped, when I was a child, mostly courtesy of Jean, my stepmother. Jean is really the queen of wrapping. I think she even wrapped some boxes one year and sold them at work. People actually bought them to put gifts in, they were so beautiful. Even if we were shipping something, everything was wrapped beautifully and then packaged into the box. To this day, she has more wrapping supplies than God* in her garage.
I've always loved wrapping presents, too. But anymore, I think that wrapping paper is kind of a waste. You only buy it to basically rip it up and throw it away. Lately, I've been trying to use recycled products to wrap gifts: old paper from presents I got from Jean (or other people, conceivably), paper that I get (ironically) for free from environmental organizations I donate to, or outdated maps. This gift has all three:
The map is 1997 Kansas. I think there's a detail of Topeka there, on top.
I'm fully expecting my Christmas gift from my husband to be wrapped in a National Geographic Map of the Ancient Middle East, because that's what I gave him to wrap it in.
I also have a different idea about the tree. When I was a kid, we would cut one down, usually, from a Christmas tree farm, and I just thought that was a blast, going to get the tree. So primitive. I got to watch some disgruntled adult use a saw and try to pretend he/she was having fun! It smelled great, too.
Of course, I can't do that now. I mean, why kill a damn tree every year? I guess it's just a crop, but whatever. I got this little live Norfolk Pine in a pot ten or more years ago at the grocery store. It's been growing, and growing, and growing...
I love this tree. The best part is, you don't have to get a tree every year. It's already there! It used to stand in the living room, but lately it migrated to the spare bedroom, to keep it out of harm's way. I sort of half-heartedly decorated it this year, but I still love it. It smells good all year, and its branches are so soft. I think it likes to be touched. I run my fingers over the pine needles, now and again. Yeah, I know. Tree hugger! That's me.
*Do I mean that God does not live in the garage, or do I mean that God does not have as much wrapping paper as Jean? I don't know. Both ideas have merit.
P.S. I don't know what happened to the title, there. Blogger did something, but I kind of like it. The original title sucked.
I've always loved wrapping presents, too. But anymore, I think that wrapping paper is kind of a waste. You only buy it to basically rip it up and throw it away. Lately, I've been trying to use recycled products to wrap gifts: old paper from presents I got from Jean (or other people, conceivably), paper that I get (ironically) for free from environmental organizations I donate to, or outdated maps. This gift has all three:
The map is 1997 Kansas. I think there's a detail of Topeka there, on top.
I'm fully expecting my Christmas gift from my husband to be wrapped in a National Geographic Map of the Ancient Middle East, because that's what I gave him to wrap it in.
I also have a different idea about the tree. When I was a kid, we would cut one down, usually, from a Christmas tree farm, and I just thought that was a blast, going to get the tree. So primitive. I got to watch some disgruntled adult use a saw and try to pretend he/she was having fun! It smelled great, too.
Of course, I can't do that now. I mean, why kill a damn tree every year? I guess it's just a crop, but whatever. I got this little live Norfolk Pine in a pot ten or more years ago at the grocery store. It's been growing, and growing, and growing...
I love this tree. The best part is, you don't have to get a tree every year. It's already there! It used to stand in the living room, but lately it migrated to the spare bedroom, to keep it out of harm's way. I sort of half-heartedly decorated it this year, but I still love it. It smells good all year, and its branches are so soft. I think it likes to be touched. I run my fingers over the pine needles, now and again. Yeah, I know. Tree hugger! That's me.
*Do I mean that God does not live in the garage, or do I mean that God does not have as much wrapping paper as Jean? I don't know. Both ideas have merit.
P.S. I don't know what happened to the title, there. Blogger did something, but I kind of like it. The original title sucked.
Welcome to Winter!
Today, when I got up, the temperature on the porch was minus 3 f. and it was super windy! And there were a few inches of snow on the ground to clean up. I got to use the new snowblower, though. It's fun.
I took this picture with my cell phone today. Yes, we did leave the house. The inside of the car windshield was frozen.
Ah, winter.
You'll find better pictures here.
I took this picture with my cell phone today. Yes, we did leave the house. The inside of the car windshield was frozen.
Ah, winter.
You'll find better pictures here.
Charity is tough.
I have the most bizarre problem. I belong to this group on yahoo called "Madison Freecycle," where you can give things away or get stuff for free. I've had these snow tires sitting around for a couple of years, since I sold my Mazda to Gina. They're just taking up space. They have lots of tread left on them, so I thought I'd give them away on Madison Freecycle.
You'd think it would be really easy to give away a set of snow tires, with the weather we've been having, and there has been no shortage of interest in them, for sure. The problem is that I decided to just go with the first people who needed them, and I don't know what their deal is, really, but we've been emailing back and forth for a week now. They've been trying to get transportation here and having a hard time. Okay. Whatever. They say they need them because their car is not functional, the tires are so bald. Okay. That makes sense. Here's the clincher, though: They came here this morning. They emailed me they were coming, and then they came, an hour's drive for them, and of course as luck would have it, I wasn't home and didn't check my email and didn't put these tires out because I had no clue they were coming. We've been emailing for a week. They had my phone number, mind you. They even called from outside the house (while they were out there). They just didn't think to call me before they came. They emailed. So now, I feel bad for them not having their tires, but... what the heck? If it was so hard to get here, why didn't they call me on the phone first? Or even wait for an email response?
Oh, goodness.
I think it was John Waters who once said that the biggest benefit to being rich is that you don't have to deal with people if you don't want to. If only I had a butler to give away my possessions for me. Then I could feel charitable without actually having a charitable attitude.
You'd think it would be really easy to give away a set of snow tires, with the weather we've been having, and there has been no shortage of interest in them, for sure. The problem is that I decided to just go with the first people who needed them, and I don't know what their deal is, really, but we've been emailing back and forth for a week now. They've been trying to get transportation here and having a hard time. Okay. Whatever. They say they need them because their car is not functional, the tires are so bald. Okay. That makes sense. Here's the clincher, though: They came here this morning. They emailed me they were coming, and then they came, an hour's drive for them, and of course as luck would have it, I wasn't home and didn't check my email and didn't put these tires out because I had no clue they were coming. We've been emailing for a week. They had my phone number, mind you. They even called from outside the house (while they were out there). They just didn't think to call me before they came. They emailed. So now, I feel bad for them not having their tires, but... what the heck? If it was so hard to get here, why didn't they call me on the phone first? Or even wait for an email response?
Oh, goodness.
I think it was John Waters who once said that the biggest benefit to being rich is that you don't have to deal with people if you don't want to. If only I had a butler to give away my possessions for me. Then I could feel charitable without actually having a charitable attitude.
Snow Day!
Brian got to try out his new snow blower.
It was supposed to be the last day of school before break, but Mother Nature had other plans for us.
It was supposed to be the last day of school before break, but Mother Nature had other plans for us.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)