Ludicrous to be Alive, isn't it?

We have this great, big raspberry bush in the backyard, which is full of raspberries this time of year. It's nice to have, because I love raspberries, but also a little difficult to pick them, because there are mosquitos, the bushes are prickly, and there isn't much room to walk around between them. Also, there are beetles who love to eat the leaves and fruit of the raspberries.

Today, I was out there picking them in this little spaghetti strap tank top, and right as I was bending over to pick one, a mosquito landed on my arm. As I went to swat the mosquito, I brushed against some leaves which apparently had a couple of beetles crawling on them, who then fell off into my shirt, so that as I was swatting the mosquito on my arm, I felt this horrible scratching on my right breast, and I screamed! and looked in my shirt, saw two beetles there on my breast, gnawing on me, and I (as anyone would) started flailing my hands at them, flinging my breast out of my shirt, slapping at myself all the while, screaming.... and then they were off of me and I was quite calm. Slipping my shirt back on, I thought, well, at least no one saw that.

Then I looked over, next door, and saw Neighbor John ducking into his back door.


I was going to save the raspberries, and share them, because Tim from Texas is visiting and all, but I just ate them.

Them was good raspberries.


  1. Sometimes it is necessary to remove an article of clothing to rid yourself of a flesh-eating bug.