A Return to My Petty and Narcissistic Musings

The meeting for the Glee parody act for the talent show got cancelled because we're all such radical activists. The secretary (who started it all, anyway) sent out an email to everyone involved. She entitled it, "Gleek practice minutes" and included this little bit about costumes,

"We have lots of --MS cheerleading outfits and poms upstairs in storage. We decided that Christian Pear and Lady Elk would be the only ones who can fit into them, so if they are willing, they can wear those! Everyone else will just use the poms (unless this will interfere with the routine?).

"Attire for everyone else will be a plain white T-shirt and blue jeans and sneakers. Julianne Smith will make the T-shirts for us (we're either going to have "Gleeks" or "--MS Gleeks" put on them). Get your T-shirt to Julianne by March 1, and she'll do the screen prints for everyone."


This made me sad. You see, I have been waiting my whole life for the opportunity to ironically perform a number in a cheerleading outfit, and then I get this email saying there are plenty of the outfits to wear, but I'm too fat to wear one! And also, I hate wearing jeans and tee shirts. And tennis shoes? Please. I almost wanted to quite the Glee Club.

Then we had that day when almost no one came to work. The author of the minutes was there, though, and so was I. And no students. So, I got up the nerve to visit her in her office, and I put on my big girl panties and said,

"You know, I only wear a size 10. Are you sure none of those cheerleading uniforms would fit me?"

"Well, that's something we could do today," she said. "We could get those down out of storage. We didn't know you wanted to wear one."

So, hey, maybe a misunderstanding?

I took one that fits me with room to grow. She agreed I looked good and I should wear it.

I'm so glad I didn't go into her office and say,

"Yo Bitch! Who you callin' fat?!" Which was, of course, how I used to do things before I became a professional educator.