New Year's Resolution Number 33

Happy New Year!

I usually get really smart-alecky this time of year and say something like, "My New Year's Resolution is to gain ten pounds and take up smoking!" This year, though, I honestly just feel like, oh, if things just keep going like they've been, that's just fine with me. Maybe I'm content, or maybe it's this good beer I've been drinking. Who knows? Anywho, I resolve not to resolve much.

I'm normally a compulsive self-improver. I read in The Sun that, instead of making a "To Do" list, you should have a "Not To Do" list, and that way, at the end of the day, you'll feel much better about yourself. Well, I tried it. I couldn't think of anything not to do. It was too hard. It made me feel kind of bad about myself that I couldn't think of anything that I wouldn't do that day. So I decided not to make a "Not To Do" list. Then, I realized, that I could have put that on my "not to do" list, not to make the list itself, but that then that in itself would be making the list, and then... at this point I felt my head starting to spin around.

What not to do? Indeed, what not to do.

The gym is always crowded next week. My lesbian basketball club used to be way too full the week after New Year's, too. Suddenly, I wouldn't be the only married girl there. There would be ten extra ladies in sports bras. (The usual gals did not necessarily wear bras.) Then by February, all those straight little bitches would be gone, and it would just be me and my homies again. Attack! Attack! The only move I have in basketball is stealing the ball. Actually, though, that's a pretty good move, isn't it? Ah, the good old days. My new neighborhood doesn't have the dyke basketball league. Alas, I'm deprived. I always feel comfortable sporting around with gay people. Is that weird? Am I the only married lady who feels this way?

Is there a rule about drinking and blogging? Is that like drunk dialing, only worse, because it goes out to all the world?

Truly though, I'm not drunk at all, only making excuses for my penchant for foul language and gay sporting events.

Happy new year! I hope we save the world this time around.


  1. I don't know about gay sports, seeing as how I am not good at sports at all, but I am so much more comfortable around gay people than straight people that sometimes it's a bit disturbing. Most of my very best friends have been, in the words of a girl in my freshman dorm, "A little bit gay." (She was a student exchange Greek. Everyone in Greece is a little bit gay, to hear her tell it.)

  2. Yeah, I'm the same way. I think it's because we're nonconformists, and we know that people who are gay are sort of forced to be nonconformists by nature, and so we automatically feel comfortable.

    The basketball was something I would probably never do back in the day with a bunch of straight people, although these days, I'm a little more comfortable with myself and I might try it.

    Another weird thing is that, when I'm teaching, I'm way way way more comfortable in front of a room of high school students of color than white kids. It's so bizarre. I had this one student, a really funny black kid recently from Chicago, who found out my first name, and determined that I am really black. Whenever I sat next to him to tutor him in his reading, he would whisper in this sort of sing-songy schoolkid voice, "you're one of us..." and then he'd snicker. I could never keep a straight face when he did that. I was supposed to be the adult and be serious, of course, but I couldn't. And yet, if you saw him, he's the kind of person that people who look like me are supposedly afraid of.

    Our differences make us more interesting.