The following entry will be entirely (almost) in Pirate Talk:

So I be takin' the youngin' to the waterin' hole and we be takin' a couple of dashin'
rubber duckies
with us. I be sportin' a black bathin' suit befittin' a pirate lass takin' a leave of baby rearin', whilst the gurgglin' youngin' be sportin' what has been said to be an
itsie bitsie teenie weenie red polka dot bikini.
We be splishin' and we be splashin'. We be swimmin' in the baby fashion. Then me looks askanse and me be noticin' the
rubber duckies
be residin' with a beardless hoodwinkin' daddy and his spritely young lass.

So, me taps him on his shoulder.

- Ay, mate. You be usin' me youngster's
rubber duckies
there. Me thinks they belong right here, with me youngin'. *

-Yeah! he be sayin' right back, and not a thing be he doin' about the unjust situation.

So, we be splishin' and splashin', and always in the near quarters of him and his youngin', also a splishin' and splashin' in the most joyous way. They be tossin'
rubber duckies
and suckin'
rubber duckies
. Zelma the babe be happy and suckin' on her toes, as is her want, while I be smolderin' and sharpenin' me sword blade. Minutes pass and not one
rubber ducky
be procured.

So, me taps him on his shoulders.

- Ay, mate. AS ME BE SAYIN' TEN MINUTES PAST THE HOUR, you be usin' me youngster's
rubber duckies
there. Me thinks they belong right here, with me youngin'. *

- Whayuhuh? says he.

Then, me be thinkin', and thinkin' good. And me thinks he be a hard of the hearin'. So me be usin' the sign language me be learnin' in the Sing and Sign class me be takin' with the youngin'. Me says in the American Sign Language,

-
rubber duckies
belong to me baby.

- Really? says he. Both of them? So sorry!

- No problem, says I, in me noblest way.

Then, he be takin' away
rubber duckies
from his youngin', and the youngin' starts a screamin', and me be sayin' there ought to be some arrangement we be makin', and we be decidin' one babe can have one
rubber ducky
and one babe can have the other
rubber ducky


We all be happy with our
rubber ducky
booty.

Apparently, he be hard of hearing.

Last thing me be thinkin' be that
rubber duckies
be some sort of "useful phrase" in American Sign Language.

Avast!



* This is a paraphrasing of the actual words exchanged.

4 comments:

  1. Loved the dialogue. Did you pick up pirate speak on the high seas of CA?

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  2. I be readin' the bloggin' out loud to me man-wench, and he be laughin' and sayin' you be a goofball. But we both be pleased that you and your youngin' be able to appease the piratey children o' the north seas.

    ReplyDelete
  3. yar! I be learnin' the Pirate Speak from me book, "The Government Manuel for New Pirates," which me man-wench be givin' me for me birthday. Ay.

    ReplyDelete