The following entry will be entirely (almost) in Pirate Talk:

So I be takin' the youngin' to the waterin' hole and we be takin' a couple of dashin'

rubber duckies

with us. I be sportin' a black bathin' suit befittin' a pirate lass takin' a leave of baby rearin', whilst the gurgglin' youngin' be sportin' what has been said to be an

itsie bitsie teenie weenie red polka dot bikini.

We be splishin' and we be splashin'. We be swimmin' in the baby fashion. Then me looks askanse and me be noticin' the

rubber duckies

be residin' with a beardless hoodwinkin' daddy and his spritely young lass.

So, me taps him on his shoulder.

- Ay, mate. You be usin' me youngster's

rubber duckies

there. Me thinks they belong right here, with me youngin'. *

-Yeah! he be sayin' right back, and not a thing be he doin' about the unjust situation.

So, we be splishin' and splashin', and always in the near quarters of him and his youngin', also a splishin' and splashin' in the most joyous way. They be tossin'

rubber duckies

and suckin'

rubber duckies

. Zelma the babe be happy and suckin' on her toes, as is her want, while I be smolderin' and sharpenin' me sword blade. Minutes pass and not one

rubber ducky

be procured.

So, me taps him on his shoulders.

- Ay, mate. AS ME BE SAYIN' TEN MINUTES PAST THE HOUR, you be usin' me youngster's

rubber duckies

there. Me thinks they belong right here, with me youngin'. *

- Whayuhuh? says he.

Then, me be thinkin', and thinkin' good. And me thinks he be a hard of the hearin'. So me be usin' the sign language me be learnin' in the Sing and Sign class me be takin' with the youngin'. Me says in the American Sign Language,

-

rubber duckies

belong to me baby.

- Really? says he. Both of them? So sorry!

- No problem, says I, in me noblest way.

Then, he be takin' away

rubber duckies

from his youngin', and the youngin' starts a screamin', and me be sayin' there ought to be some arrangement we be makin', and we be decidin' one babe can have one

rubber ducky

and one babe can have the other

rubber ducky

We all be happy with our

rubber ducky

booty.

Apparently, he be hard of hearing.

Last thing me be thinkin' be that

rubber duckies

be some sort of "useful phrase" in American Sign Language.

Avast!



* This is a paraphrasing of the actual words exchanged.