10. The subterranean trolls are clogging the internet tubes with their singing again.
9. The Seventh Seal has been broken.
8. Because Wil Wheaton is 41 years old.
7. The electricity slows down a lot when the weather is bad.
6. Odin ended the world a few days ago, and now he's angry that nobody noticed.
5. I can't really go into details, because this place might be bugged.
4. The internet tubes fear my great beauty and wither with jealousy.
3. Two words: Goddess Intervention.
2. Bodkay is watching.
1. Because winter is here and it's never going away and spring will never come and the last winter lasted five years (that was on Game of Thrones which won't play, either [and you think that is a lot of naked ladies and gay sex, but you should read the books!]) and you ask what this has to do with internet and The Daily Show but you try and-- wait what? My fingers are too cold to think any more.