No One Dares Defy the Dump Master

I went to our local waste transfer sight on Saturday. We don't have trash pickup out here in the country. The transfer site is run by a hunched old dude with a cigarette hanging out of his mouth, the Dump Master. He recycles just about anything. If you throw something useful away, he lectures you a bit and takes it out of the trash, setting it aside for someone else to use. Because of this, there are lots of useful things hanging about our dumps, and sometimes Little Z comes with me and we "Hunt for Treasure".

This was not such a day, yesterday. I was alone in our Ford truck. The Dump Master has a particular way that he wants people to drive around the dumps. Basically, it's a one way street that goes in a loop around a barn.

So, I was making my way around this loop yesterday, and there was this guy in his Ford truck who was driving the wrong way. He crossed in front of me, waved, and drove onto the lawn by another building. I stopped behind him to let someone back up in front of a dumpster, and as I was sitting there, this guy who was going the wrong way before and waved hit me.

Bump.

Now, I have never had the experience before of being hit while sitting still. One thing about it is clear: it wasn't my fault!

Which is why I thought it was so odd that this guy did not apologize right away, but just started looking for dents in my truck. I started looking, too, and then feeling the metal, and he was feeling, too, and suddenly we were these two odd people, feeling a truck at the dumps.

There were no dents. He had hit my Ford truck with his Ford truck, and there was no damage. In some sense, it was a little bit disappointing, because I felt that he should be punished for his inconceivably poor driving. I had actually seen him coming towards me, and starting honking the horn, and still he had hit me.

And then, feeling the truck for dents, I hadn't noticed the Dump Master there. He came over and reamed the guy who hit me! It was the most words I had ever heard the Dump Master say,

"That's why you're supposed to go the other way! That's why I have the signs there! You see what happens when you don't follow my directions?!"

Dump Master to my defense! Nice.

I found some treasure, too: a little lawn ornament bear.

And as I was loading the bear, I looked up and noticed the Dump Master, lecturing the guy again on his poor driving.

He's my favorite Dump Master ever.