Text for "A Murder of Crows and Other Woes"

Here's the rough draft of that children's book I'm working on. It's not actually punctuated yet, because I don't actually know how to punctuate a rhyming story. English majors and other knowledgable folks, comment in the comments on this. This is really rough, but I feel like showing you all. (That's probably bad form. I try to do the wrong thing here as much as possible.) The final version will be illustrated, with one wacky picture for each type of animal which she encounters:

A Murder of Crows and Other Woes

My daughter, my sweet
I got a note from your teacher
And it wasn’t so neat
It said you’d missed school
For two weeks- a fortnight!
You shouldn’t miss school
You know that it’s not right
What could have happened?
Why didn’t you go?
I told her you’re a good girl
This couldn’t be so.

Oh, Daddy I wanted to go!
The Monday before last
I remember it well
I had just finished breakfast
When I heard the school bell
I went running so fast,
past the old Chestnut tree
(It’s a really nice way, I think you’ll agree)

except that
A clutter of spiders was waiting for me
They spun their webs
Most vehemently
I didn’t escape
Until a quarter to three
(The Scissors in my backpack
were what set me free.)

On Tuesday I left
With a spring in my step
Stepped out the door,
With a certain amount of pep
When a scourge of mosquitoes
Stung my right finger
I went on to school,
But I didn’t linger.
(Since I couldn’t write anyway,
on account of my finger.)

On the way to school on Wednesday,
I had the choice of two roads
And then while I was thinking
I saw a knot of toads
The toads told me stories
Until I fell fast asleep
And I dreamt of all their glories
Until I woke with a leap

The next day I decided
That I would carry my lunch
When a large gang of weasles
Came and hit me with a punch
They were clawing and gnawing
And nearly tore off my sleeve
But then while they were pawing
I managed to leave.

Friday I decided
That my safest bet
Would be to go to the shore
And swim with a net

Then a whole smack of jellyfish
Came stinging at me
I thought I was dead
Until I grabbed onto a tree

And then I was saved
By a tower of giraffes
Just in time for Saturday!
Oh, we shared such laughs.

On Monday, not daunted,
I swam the waters of dread
And found a fever of stingrays
Just hopped out of bed

I swam as the river flows
To that very same tree
Only to find a murder of crows
Pecking at me!

When they got over their fright
The crows named me “Otis”
I stayed there all night
And you didn’t even notice!

Tuesday, I saw no boats
And no sign of humanity
On Wednesday, a tribe of goats
Came and took back my sanity

With their bleating
They told me, “jump on my hide!”
And when they were done eating,
They would give me a ride
home to rest from my ordeal.
I let the goats be my guide.

On Thursday, I got dressed
And put on my shoes
I was rested and well
I was nimble and new
I went out the door,
And to my great surprise
I found a wisdom of wombats
With crazy blue eyes.
They showed me their secrets
And told me their names
And I played with them all day
And joined in their games.

But Friday was the most
Amazing of days
I went outside
And couldn’t see through the haze
When a band of jays
Came to show me the way
They mistook me for a gypsy
And told me to play
But I only knew one song
It was “Tommy Had One Ear”
And I only got done playing
Just in time to meet you here

Oh, Daddy dear, don’t judge me too harsh
I’ve had great adventures
I’ve travelled a marsh
I’ve learned to play music
And heard stories from toads
I’ve eaten with goats
And what I’ve learned was loads!

So I’ll go to school on Monday
I swear it;
You’ll see!
As long as no animals
Are looking at me.

1 comment:

  1. If the images are equal to the text it should be a classic!