When my tree became relevant

I have a tree in the living room. It's an evergreen, about four feet high, and every Christmas I decorate it and put lights on it, and then I take all that down at New Years, and it seems relieved to be rid of the weight for another eleven months. It stands in front of our three front windows.

Today, about three o'clock, I was standing next to that tree, Zelma in my arms, watching a lady on my street who was stuck in the snow. She kept getting out of the car, looking around in the blizzard, getting back into the car for a few minutes, and trying to drive away with no success. After watching her for a while, I though maybe I should go out and offer to let her come inside and warm up. I sat down for a moment, Zelma still in my arms, contemplating whether or not I needed to put on boots or put a coat on the baby just to yell at the lady to come on inside. Just then, Zelma started coughing quite a bit. I said, "Oh, poor baby, you sure are coughing a lot," and I looked down, and there was the tip of a bright green tree branch sticking out of her mouth.

As any new mother would do, I screamed! and pulled the branch out of her mouth, which was about an inch long. There were a few other little bits of tree, too, and she was still coughing.

Like most new mothers, I had the number for poison control next to the phone. I called them, and the kind lady said that the tree was not poisonous, but the prickly things might irritate her mouth and throat, and to give her some water to wash it down with.

So, Zelma ate I don't know how much of our tree in the living room today, which turns out not to be poisonous. Which is a very good thing, because we are completely snowed in.

And then, once I was satisfied that Zelma had washed down all of the pricklies, and they will only be seen perhaps later, in her diaper, I once again concentrated on the lady outside, only this time, I put Zelma over my other shoulder (she was still trying to eat more of the tree). The lady was still standing next to the car, looking lost and cold. So, I opened my front door and yelled at her,

"Hellooooo!!! Hellooooo!!! Do you need help????"

She of course looked around and around, and for a good minute could not tell where my voice was coming from. When she finally saw me, she could only barely see me for the storm.

"Come here! I can't come out! I have a baby!"

"You have a what?"

"I have a baby!"

"A what?"

"Come here!"

She finally came inside, all snow drenched and worried. And, for a moment, lost herself,

"Oh! You have a baby! What a happy baby!" she said, as Zelma had completely forgotten that she had nearly choked to death on an evergreen five minutes before.

The lady's friend finally came, and after they made many attempts at driving away, they succeeded in pulling the car to the side of the road, and driving away in the friend's car.