So, Sarah Palin says she was never a member of the Alaskan Independence Party, and The Alaskan Independence Party says, oh yes, you have been a member since 1994. Why would Ms. Palin lie?
Well, as you may have guessed, I have a theory about this:
Brian and I were talking it over at breakfast, and it goes something like this: Sarah Palin is one hard-core member of the Alaskan Independence Party, but she has to hide it so that she can become President of the United States. Once she's elected V.P. to John I'm-Super-Old McCain, if he doesn't die naturally, she'll slip something into his coffee to hurry things up a bit. Then, once he's out of the way, she'll let the Alaskans become their own country. Congress will declare war, of course, to protect the oil and other natural resources, but Commander in Chief Palin won't send any troups and the six hundred thousand odd Alaskans will win their independence. Then we will all be riding bicycles because gas will be ten dollars a gallon, the world will cool down a bit, and all will be right in heaven and on earth. Yes, I'm an optimist- not a Lemony Snicket optimist, but still an optimist, none the less.
God bless America. And Alaska, too!
Except that, while she's in office in the U.S.A., she will somehow manage to pass a Constitutional Amendment against gay marriage, outlaw abortions AND birth control, and issue all kindergarteners an Uzi on their first day of class. Then she'll move back to her beloved Alaska. I say you are a Lemony Snicket optimist!
ReplyDeleteI don't know you...but I think you're awesome.
ReplyDeleteOh, my goodness! Thanks! What a compliment! I don't know you, either, but I love your blog. It's a great concept. Things always happen on the bus.
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