We all know this may end badly, right?

Maybe you've noticed that the whole Barack Obama lifestyle/movement/campaign/fashion statement has become a little... prophetic? I'm not sure if that's the word. But when he let the fireworks explode over Denver, something happened. It felt a bit too much like a Hollywood movie, like the type of Hollywood movie that borrows from the legend of the "Hero's Journey," as explained by Joseph Campbell in his books (especially "the Hero with a Thousand Faces") and in a Bill Moyer special that nobody likes to watch but me.

The basic hero's journey goes like this:

1. Hero is born under unusual (sometimes supernatural) circumstances, like having a mother from Kansas.
2. Hero has a weird name, like " Luke Skywalker" or "Barack Hussein Obama".
3. Hero doesn't want to be anyone special, maybe just your average lawyer on the south side of Chicago.
4. Hero is clearly someone special.
3. Hero is chosen to save the world or something really important like that, and is told to do so, often by a prophet or mentor of some sort, like Yoda or Jeremiah Wright, who often seems crazy at first.
4. Hero doesn't want to go on an epic journey, but he really should.
5. Hero is noble and true and goes anyway.
6. Hero travels to the underworld, or someplace really bad and full of demons, like the senate or that swampy planet Yoda lives on.
7. Hero somehow ends up killing his father (okay, not Obamaesque...), having sex with his mother (really not Obamaesque), and winning a big fight or two.
8. Hero either saves the world or turns evil and tries to destroy it, thus inspiring future heroes to rise up against him.

It's the last part of number eight that really sucks balls.

Perhaps I have not convinced you yet that Obama is the epic chosen one, for good or ill? Well, just read this Yoda translation of a random bit of Obama speech, and I'm sure all will be made clear:

"Be our brother's keeper, let us, scripture tells us. Be our sister's keeper, let us. Find that common stake we all have in one another, let us, and as well let our politics reflect that spirit. Yeesssssss." -Obama translated through Yoda

Or, perhaps, "my friends," someone else is our chosen one?


  1. That is not true. You made me watch that Bill Moyers special one time at Ft. Lewis, and I have watched it at least two more times on tv since then. I like to make comparisons of all my favorite characters, like Samwise Gamgee and Harry Potter, to the typical hero.

    Vote for Obama, we must. Har har har.

  2. Funny. I thought you were really annoyed with me for making you watch that! Yay! I was wrong!

    I feel like Woody Allen at the end of "Annie Hall" when he discovers Annie taking her new boyfriend to see the holocaust movie he always drug her to.

    You've seen it two more times on TV? You've gotta be kidding me! Yeah, it totally works with the hobbits and the Harry Potter stuff.