Today is our anniversary. I have now been married a decade. Wow! I feel emboldened to give unwanted advice.
Cellar Door gives ten orders on marriage:
1. Marry someone way cooler than you are.
2. Be nice.
3. Recognize that most fights are really stupid, and if you insist on fighting, go to Target and fight in public. It will give you a new perspective.
4. Give compliments as often as they come to mind.
5. Shut up when you have nothing nice to say.
6. That being said, speak up if you have a problem, just try to frame it as honestly as possible.
7. If you want children, marry someone who enjoys children, and who also embodies the traits you would like to see in your child, although you may be lacking in them yourself. I, for instance, always wanted my child to have a prominent chin (it brings business success, I’m sure) but I have a bit of an overbite and a small chin, so I married a Morrissey look-alike [he doesn’t look a thing like Morrissey now- see number 10], and this way, Little Z. had a fifty fifty chance of having a desirably prominent chin.
8. Realize that everyone has nasty habits. It may be smoking, dribbling, or chewing with your mouth open, chewing snuff, spitting in public, scratching his balls a lot, farting all night, or all of the above. Really, it’s no big deal. Get over it.
9. Never compare your marriage with anyone else’s marriage. You didn’t marry anyone but the person you married.
10. That being said, realize that the person you married is not the person you are married to. People change. Love and life are transient things. “Change is the nature of the Tao,” as it says in that really frustratingly vague book about life. But it’s true. All we can do is cherish this moment. And that's a really, really good thing.