Who I am, really (according to the Z)

I came in from feeding the sheep. I was putsing around the kitchen and couldn't help but overhear my daughter skyping with my mother-in-law in the other room.

Here are some of the things she said about me:

"She's half dolphin and part orangutan, and she has like half her brain dead... She lives in the barn... She eats tissue boxes-- I have to hide all of the tissue boxes, because she eats them! I think like half her brain is dead, but the other half works twice as hard, so it's okay... Also, have you noticed half her face sort of sagging, too? She lives in the barn and eats hay! Here she comes!"