Avoiding Sex with Frenchmen is Almost Done!!!!!!!

I'm finishing up this week. I did create a new cover image. I really loved the old one, but I was reading up on the elements of a good cover, and I realized the old one was too detailed. Most people, when they first see a cover on Amazon, see only the thumbnail, and on many devices, the thumbnail is actually the size of your thumbnail. Looking at it smaller, you can't see the goofy eyeballs or the quote, and the colors make it look like a serious book:

So, even though I really liked the old one, and I appreciated your feedback and the small change Professor Batty made, I made something new, with one bold image and big letters:

It looks weird because it's a weird book. 

I think I may have been subliminally influenced by Christina McMullen's cover art, especially the lettering.

And then I had to write the dreaded blurb. It's difficult to describe your own work. I resorted to a list. Lists are fun. Here is the "blurb":

This book contains:  

1. People with weird names. 
2. Drawings of the people with weird names. 
3. No fewer than 117 sexual propositions.  
4. An explanation of the nightly moving of the Eiffel Tower. 
5. One reference to Joseph Campbell.  
6. A scary part in a tunnel with bones.  
7. Over 130 original works of “art.” 
8. One good painting. 
9. A friendship. 
10. An un-friendship. 
11. French hippies.  
12. A demon. 
13. Hunger.  
14. An argument over a sandwich. 
15. An unnecessarily long description of The Raft of the Medusa by Théodore Géricault (see number 8).  
16. A trite (but bittersweet and heartfelt) ending that says something like, “We’ll always have Paris.”

You might notice that I'm including The Raft of the Medusa. I didn't include it originally, because I was wondering about copyright laws, but it seems to be perfectly legal. Of course, me being me, it isn't exactly The Raft of the Medusa. Here's a close up of part of it:

March 27th, everyone. March 27th is the day. I have made many new illustrations and done some heavy editing, and I hope you all find it spec-tac-u-lar. 


  1. That's a great title for a book. I hope it sells a million copies and gets translated into French. Do you know any French women who could review it?

    1. Well, that would be great! But I don't know any French women. I think they could probably tell me why we were so sought after! In spite of having written a book, I'm still pretty embarrassed about the whole thing. I'm glad you like the title, though!

  2. The raft was obviously rat infested and needed your cats. I think their expressions are more realistic than those other bipeds. I like both covers.

    1. Oh, thanks! I like both covers, too, but I fear no one would really see the black and white one. It's just too detailed.

  3. Replies
    1. I still didn't kill anyone off in the heavy editing... sorry.

  4. Teresa tells me you're gonna be on FA on the 27th. A busy birthday for you! Congratulations, Shoshanah!