Substitute Teaching: A Place for Endless Entertainment

My favorite quote of the day:

"You're not listening to me! Anteaters! Where is their habitat!?" This question was directed towards me. As though I were some sort of, I don't know, anteater specialist? I love how kids think teachers know everything. He really thought I was holding out on crucial knowledge. Like anteater hideouts were top secret.

My second favorite:

"This shape is a rectal trapezoid." (Written down on a white board. I was behind the student, but had to go around and look when I saw the look on other teacher's face and the way she turned her back from the class and hid for a minute, shaking slightly.)

This is ripe for a pun. I am not a master, but I know you're out there.


  1. Allow me to begin.

    Last year, I had a bad case of rectal trapezoids. I eat a lot more fiber now and feel much, MUCH better. Glad I didn't need surgery for that!

    (How old are these kids, BTW?)

  2. Combined 4th & 5th grade class.

    Treatment for rectal trapezoids is highly experimental.

  3. Anteaters are a favourite of mine. I know where the babies live - on their mother's back.

    Do you get to watch them die with embarassment and try to cover it up when they accidentally call you Mom?

  4. I go by "Miss M" and the children sometimes call me, "Miss Mommy" by accident or on purpose, not sure which.

    I remember when I was a child, accidentally calling my female teacher "daddy". She thought that was really funny.

    The best is when older kids call you mom, like 12. They try and pretend it never happened, like they were just about to cut class and go have a smoke.