Godzilla and the Sad Baker

Thirteen years ago today, when Bad Assed Husband was just Bad Assed Fiancee, we were planning on getting married on March 9, 1999- a fortuitous date, or so I thought. We both got food poisoning so bad that day that we had to postpone the wedding! Every year now, we celebrate "Salmonella Day," our doomed didn't get married day.

I like to get a cake for Salmonella Day. This year, though, I almost forgot. I was at the end of my workday, packing my suitcase to leave, and my arbetskomrad was on the phone, and suddenly I screamed,

"It's Salmonella Day! I forgot to get the cake! Oh my god! I have to get a cake! Now!"

Arbetskomrad gave me a polite wave of the hand and a partially suppressed "WTF?" look as I ran out of there.

I went to a small local bakery. I knew I would have to settle for some plain pre-baked cake in the case, with my silly script added onto it. But no! I looked in the case and saw a dinosaur cake! For those of you who do not know, my daughter is a dinosaur fanatic. She said the word paleontologist 34 times on the way home from day care today. She's four. So, at first, I was speechless. A pleasant looking bakery man was standing behind the counter. Our conversation went something like this:

Bakery Man: Can I help you?
Me: I um I yyaaa--- I wasn't actually looking for a dinosaur cake, but I think I'm going to have to buy that cake.
Bakery Man: We don't normally have such elaborate cakes as that one in the case.
Me: It's my daughter. She just really likes dinosaurs. She's four.
Bakery Man: I was just saying, "If nobody buys that dinosaur cake, I'm going to buy it myself and eat it. So much work went into it." We were working on it all day, and the people who ordered it said that it wasn't what they had envisioned.
Me: Well, I like it. I think it's great!
Bakery Man: Good!
Me: There's just one thing, though. I'm going to have to ask you to write something really weird on it.

After he wrote, "Happy Salmonella Day," on it- spelled correctly- a bakery lady came out and they chatted a bit about putting so much work into the cake and how it was so nice that someone was actually going to buy it, after all. Bakery Man reiterated how he was so exasperated, he had planned on eating it tonight.

So, I left feeling very happy about the cake. I couldn't think of any reason why another person wouldn't want it, until BAH said,
"It looks kind of like Godzilla." On second glance, it does. In my mind, though, a cake looking like Godzilla just makes it that much more awesome.

Little Z ate the teeth first, so that we wouldn't be scared of it anymore. The teeth are right in the middle, so I'll just let you imagine the rest of that scene.


  1. Dinosaurs are the best. Last weekend I was educated about the daspletosaurus by a very serious and small boy.

  2. Yes, they are the best. I have to ask what a daspletosaurus is from our local expert. Little Z is also quite serious about dinosaurs. She has a certain reverence for other children who know about dinosaurs. There is one little boy in her preschool class who also knows every dinosaur. He has a dinosaur shirt. She does not. This has become a bit of an issue. She really wants a dinosaur shirt. She also wants to be a paleontologist/ teacher when she grows up: a teacher who just teaches about dinosaurs.

    It's good to hear from you again, Ms. von Hathor.