Synergy Achieved

As you know, Professor Batty and the Weaver met me for lunch today. The following is a play-by-play of this exciting event:

12:00 I arrive at the coffee shop. Look around. See no Batty.

12:03 In the corner of the coffee shop sits a man who could be Professor Batty, if Professor Batty, since the last photo he posted of himself, had drunk a pint of gin every day and also had his hair cut by weasels. I tentatively approach the man. "Are you meeting someone here?" I ask.

"No," he says, and suddenly looks friendlier. "Don't know what they look like?"

"Not entirely sure."

I should have told Batty to wear a red carnation on his lapel. What was I thinking?

12:04 Professor Batty and the Weaver arrive, guns drawn, and clear out the saloon with a... I'm sorry. That's a different story. Professor Batty and the Weaver arrive and lavish me with gifts. I, in turn, present three young sheep- or maybe just some of their wool, for the Weaver.

12:05-1:35 We have much conversation of blogs past. I am amused to learn that the Weaver doesn't read blogs.

1:36 I start to sign a copy of my book to give to Prof. Batty. "Your real name is John, right?"


1:40 We pose for a picture. (The Weaver is taking the photo.)
Old School Bloggers Batty (Not Named John) and Me (Also Not Named John)

1:45 I attempt to give Mr. and Mrs. Batty a tour of our fare village, only to find that most of my fellow villagers observe a day of rest on Mondays, and almost everything is closed.

1:53 A trip to Mindless Minion Central is suggested, for purposes of visiting mindless sheep and generally killing time in the beauty of nature. 

1:57 I visit the Frank Lloyd Wright inspired bed and breakfast which is Batty Headquarters Abroad. Very impressive. Too bad I live here and can't justify staying there.

2:13 In the car: I am pleased to see that the Battymobile has spiffy coat hangers in back, actually put to their proper use.

2:17 Mindless Minion Central i.e. The farm i.e. Hammerdown Manor is shown to Batty, but he seems to know it well.

2:20 Sheep skittish. As usual. Pictures taken. Documentation.

2:23 Beautiful day, isn't it?

2:40 Still beautiful day. Chances of thunderstorm discussed.

3:00 Battymobile rolls back to town.

3:01 Synergy achieved.


  1. We came, we saw, we were conquered—by your bountiful charm.

  2. What!!! No world problems solved??? Oy vey! :)

  3. I want to hear about the saloon incident.

  4. Professor Batty is reading the newspaper at the 46 second mark: