Where do golf clubs come from?

It's the question every parent dreads,

"Mommy, where do golf clubs come from?"

You stammer for a moment... sweat beads out from under your bra... your normally pleasant child now seems like a Gestapo interrogator, busting into your house at four in the morning on a cold and dark night in Sebastopol (or maybe Graton). You try to begin as so many doomed souls before you have begun,

"Um... well, it's like this... there's some birds... and there's some bees, and, um-"

When you finally do explain it, the child is horrified,

"Is that where you and daddy got your golf clubs?" she yells, indignant and horrified. "I don't believe it!"

Unfortunately, for me, it is too late. My daughter has already popped the question. But for the rest of you, I give you this charming lie:

Fresh, Organic Golf Clubs

Golf clubs grow on farms, and then they are delivered into your chimney by a stork.

I give you permission to use this photo with your children. Don't feel bad about lying to them. Everyone does it. One day, when they are more mature, you can tell them the truth about where golf clubs come from.

Until then, keep up the mindless parenting! And remember: I know best. Always.  


  1. I hate to confess it but I never got the golf club talk! All these years of disturbing speculation has taken its toll...ack!

  2. Maybe it's too late for you. I'm sorry.

    Just play with your golf clubs and try not to think about where they came from. Just try not to think about it.

  3. I may not know where golf clubs come from but I do know where they go sometimes...in the lake, with heartfelt shrieks of outrage!! "=^)