1. When I was a kid, visiting my mom on the week-ends in San Francisco, if there was poop on the sidewalk where we were walking, my mom would point it out to me and yell, "Ew! Shit!" She was looking out for me, in her very non-politically correct way.
2. Yesterday, the temperature climbed up to 45 degrees. Zelma and I had a playdate with Aden and his mom, Nataliya. Zelma was drinking a lot of water from a sippy cup, and I commented, "Zelma is drinking a lot of water today."
"Yes," said Nataliya. "Well, it is getting hot, so she might need more water."
3. Kirk called one day and asked me to take care of his fish for him for a week. I didn't know he had a fish. "Oh, yes. It's in the basement. You've seen it?"
"No, I haven't seen it."
I have a key to Kirk's house. Does he think I just go over there and snoop around when he's not home? (Okay, maybe I have, once or twice, but I was just looking for his DVD of "Better Off Dead", I swear.) Anyway,
"Well, it's in the basement, behind the bar, in a barrel. Toss a handful of food in there every day or two."
Fish are already barely qualified as "pets" in my mind, being that you can't actually "pet" them, but they are nice to look at-- unless you have your fish hidden in a barrel behind the bar in the basement. He's an ice fisherman. Perhaps he's just trying to dabble in pet ownership to impress his new girlfriend, who has four dogs, two cats, several fish and a few hamsters, but maybe he didn't get the part about owning a fish tank, too?
Nah. Seriously, he has a pond out back, and he must be wintering his one surviving fish inside.