I went to my book club meeting for the Snowman. There's this Jewish lady who always comes without finishing the book. We had soft cheese and crackers to snack on, and she accidentally licked the knife. I'm not into calling people by their religion or whatever, but she always announces herself, "I'm Jewish." And so it is.
Then she looks at me in a different sort of way when she learns my name, which is a very Jewish name, so after the book club meeting, when I am returning my book in the library, I tell her,
"I have a Jewish name because my mother is Jewish."
This was maybe a Mistake.
She put her arm around me and yelled out to everyone in the library,
"Hey, can you believe this girl has Jewish blood in her! Yes! She is a Jew! Can you believe it?"
Fact: My mom converted to be Jewish. Although my mom is Jewish, I technically have no Jewish blood in me.
Fact: My Jewish friend was not using an appropriate library voice.
Fact: I was too embarrassed to correct the error. I am not of Jewish blood, but I was afraid to say so.
A blond woman then described to all how she recently found out that her great grandfather was 100% Cherokee! Who knew? Genetics is so strange.
I was happy to have the attention off of me. I went quietly away to my husband's Japanese convertible, because my car was in the shop. My Volkswagen. (My Jewish friend will never buy a German car.)
Fact: White lies are easier to live with than flat out lies.
Fact: My German car had some messed up electrical issues.
Fact: I like to write "Fact:" and then say somewhat mundane things.