Mail Order Husband

Mail order brides seem to be pretty common, here in these Americas. Of course, these days, people meet each other first, go on a few dates, then get married and come home to the U.S. together. It's all the same, though. Women who want to move to the U.S. and men who are attracted to foreign women.

One movie follows the Mexican Bride trade quite closely, Cowboy del Amor. It's about a man who, for a fee, sets up the marriages between Mexican women and men from the United States. It's a great documentary. The men want love and women who are, according to them, less demanding than American women. The women want to move to the U.S. because they think that American men are less demanding and more respectful of women. It's a little bit ironic, because the men want subservient women, and the women want men who don't boss them around so much, yet it seems to work. The movie ends with a happy couple, matched by the Cowby del Amor himself, having a baby. And all is right in the world.

I was pondering what I would do if I were thirty-eight (as I am) and still single, or divorced (as I am not). Would I want a mail order husband? Why does one never hear of mail order husbands?

Then I thought about the guys I knew in Sweden. They could be walking three feet in front of you, and let the door slam in your face before they opened it for you. That didn't impress me much.

Then I thought about the 38 French men who propositioned me when I was nineteen in Paris. In the space of ten days. That didn't impress me much, either.

I guess the Scottish men were okay, though. But are there really hoards of Scotsmen wanting American citizenship?

Honestly, when it comes right down to it, American men are the best of the lot. They're diverse, respectful towards women, and usually have some sense of humor. Almost all of them! I might sooner be lesbian than have a mail order husband.

This has been the year's xenophobic entry. Now I will go back to being open minded.


  1. In my opinion, men who want 'foreign wives' either

    1) complain about women of their country being cruel and picky, when really they should check out whether or not their are a revolting pig who believes women can and ought to be bought, or

    2) they are obsessed with the 'exotic' and fetishise femininity which implies weakness, and would probably have better enjoyed being a gentleman of the Empire or slave plantation owner and all the opportunities to exploit the brown-skinned women as if they weren't real people that came with it.

    It's quite different, but I often come across British men who bring wives over from their country of origin and don't want them to integrate. It's very complicated, but I do fear for these women who are cloistered within their community and not encouraged to learn English. They're so vulnerable if they are badly treated. It's very upsetting that the women's organisations within these communities face having their funding cut.

  2. Your number one and two apply here too, I think. But I think there is also more to it. It's complicated. I really don't know the women who don't speak English, generally. I'm sure you have a good point, though.