I took Little Z trick or treating last night. We have no neighborhood, so I drove her to the nearest town. In a certain neighborhood there, people go to great lengths to celebrate Halloween. I was the Orange Guy (I put on an orange rain coat after the picture) and Little Z was a vampire. That's her hand there, holding up the red cape over her face.

I parked in front of a house decorated with gigantic, inflated white ghosts and playing spooky music. My little vampire marched right by the house, not stopping, even though goblins on the front porch clearly had a pot of candy waiting for us.

"Shouldn't we stop there? They have candy."

"NO!" she said, marching forward down the road.

I, the bearded orange guy, ran after her. Little V was running down the street, full steam.

"How about this one?" I yelled after her.


"This one?" I panted.

"Um... That one!"

Finally, she stopped in front of a little house, with one pumpkin, and the porch light on. But she didn't move.

"Go ahead," I encouraged. "Walk up and ring the doorbell."

She stood still.

"Go ahead. It's all right. I'll go with you."

Finally, she approached the first door. Trick or treat stated. Candy acquired. At the fifth house we had passed.

The house after that looked pleasant enough. She rang the door bell, said the required words, and the guy said,

"Oh, hey, we don't have any candy. But have a nice Halloween!"

Note to that guy: If everyone in your neighborhood is Halloween crazy, and you have no candy, maybe you should turn your porch light off. Just for one night.

And, on to the next house. But, no. It was too highly decorated. Music blaring. Orange lights blinking.

"Go ahead," I said. "They want to give you candy. Just go to the front door."


"Don't be afraid."

"I'm not afraid. It just doesn't... feel right."

A witch on the front porch came out,

"It's okay! Don't be afraid! It's all fake! We have candy!"

But she wouldn't go. Tomb stones lined the yard.

And so it went. The houses that were most decked out for Halloween, we passed, and the modest, one pumpkin homes were visited and candy was generally acquired. Also, we got notes about how much God loves us, and even a business card for a dog walking service!

And we walked on. The longer we walked, the more her resolve weakened, and the more highly decorated houses we visited. Also, I think all of the witches chasing us saying, "I have candy! Come back!" softened her feelings towards the Halloween extremists.

One house had a quiet young man with a candy dish that had a bony hand attached to it. When Little Vampire tried to grab the candy, the hand grabbed her! It grabbed her three times, until she figured out how to foil it. She was delighted and let out a happy giggle.

In the end, we visited many of the houses we had skipped the first time, on the way back to the car. And to all of the witches who yelled, "Wait! We have candy!" I say,

I'm sorry. I don't know what was going through her head. I wasn't about to force her to go to your house. But, I appreciate your effort. Maybe next year, we'll take your candy.


  1. Perhaps she has some psychic powers and knew that while the witches may have had candy, it was the gross kind that no one wants. The Necco wafer witches.

  2. Yep. That's my girl. She's psychic and stuff like that.