Social media puts a stop to government shutdown!

Just kidding.

So, the federal government has now shut down, and... nothing is happening around here. How about in your neck of the woods?

In America, if they really want to get our attention, they should shut Facebook down. And Twitter. And that other thing. Social media crisis! That would be something.

I don't personally know any adults who act as childish as our "leaders".

So, as usual, the Onion comes to our rescue with the most accurate description of our predicament:

If Congress is unable to pass legislation that will fund the government by midnight tonight, the U.S. government will shut down. Here is what a government shutdown means for you:

* All national parks and zoos will be closed, but animals will be fed and cared for by Sens. Saxby Chambliss (R-GA) and Tom Harkin (D-IA)

* No trash collection in Washington, D.C., which means the only solution is for residents to eat their own garbage

* Those who died and are honored in the Holocaust Museum will become de-memorialized and will no longer be resting in peace

* Old man with giant beard who walks hundreds of steps to light the gas lamp in the Statue of Liberty every night will be unemployed

* You will still be able to send and receive mail, but any attempt to poison government officials will have to be held off until they return to their offices after the shutdown ends

* This probably won’t have any actual effect on your marriage, but it’s better to blame it on this than facing what the real issues are

* Any harm that may occur to you during the shutdown will still affect your body in real life. Essentially, if you die in the shutdown, you die for real.

* Most government workers will be furloughed—a procedure that involves halting their pay, sending them home, and then castrating them with a gelding knife in front of their spouses

* Realistically, you won’t be affected by this very much in your day-to-day life, but you’ll feel the full effects during the 2014 midterm election when you lose your seat in Congress


  1. If 'pro' is the opposite of 'con', what's the opposite of progress? Congress!

  2. It's really concerning to me that the TSA has to go to work, but right now their paychecks are "delayed." Doesn't that inspire confidence in our safety?

  3. And the FDA and the everything else. It's anarchy!