Blow Up Mattresses Rock

We moved the mattress over the weekend. We're taking a very slow, gradual approach to moving, doing a load every day in the car, moving furniture when we can.
We have a queen-sized mattress. We also have a really low ceiling on the new stairway, and the stairway turns. The housing inspector commented on the super-low ceiling and I did not understand the problem. We aren't terribly tall people. But...

When we moved the mattress up the stairs, it was INSANELY DIFFICULT! I pushed and pulled with all my might, TLBP pushed with all his might, and it would move about a quarter of an inch up. Sometimes, it would slide back down. It just got wedged in that corner with the low ceiling. We were stuck. It was horrible. We said horrible things to each other. We had a horrible, screaming conversation on the stairway, wedged between the mattress and the wall,

"*%#@ing PUSH!"
"I AM PUSHING, #@$* #@&* ****!"
"Well, $@%^&& ^&%$## #%@$%% HARDER!"
"%*$# *&(&% *(&(*&$ $#@"

So, you get the picture. Z was at daycare. (I should say, too, that we just talk like this. We never hurt each other's feelings in such ridiculous exchanges. It's just creative on-site motivation therapy.)

Eventually, we just got it up those stairs, a teensy little bit at a time. (I think the cursing helped.) But I warn you, oh friends and relatives: when you come to visit with your lover, you'll be sleeping in matching twin beds! Another large mattress is not going up that stairway. Either that, or it will be an inflated air mattress. How do you feel about blow up mattresses?


  1. I don't like blow-up mattresses. Maybe I could sleep in the barn.

  2. Twin beds a la Flintstones is the way forward. You can also say you're protecting their health given that new research shows sleeping separately is better for you. If you're a man.

    That or you'll have to go all out futon.

  3. Yeah, we were planning on having you sleep in the barn, regardless, Dad;)

    Glory, I heard that study, too, and I think it's all bunk. Hm... bunk beds... now there's an idea.

  4. What? Sleeping with someone is bad for your health? Oh dear, are we in trouble.

  5. Sorry I am a bit late for this one-I like blow up mattresses as long as they don't have any holes in them. Then I don't.

  6. Auntie Lou just has troubles because of that lacerated ice pick she likes to sleep with. No offense to Bucky, of course.

    When Brian and I were first dating, he sat on my roommate's bed and a spring popped out of it and literally tore a huge gash in his thigh. He still has a scar from it. My roommate, Carol, said she always just avoided that side of the mattress.